clear the weeds and then plant the fruit trees

Forums General Discussions and Specific Issues Confused and Not Sure Where to Start clear the weeds and then plant the fruit trees

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  • #21902
    Avatarkuteguy
    PSTEC User

    Hi,

    As you know from my other post, I am wanting to get my love life handled. There are so many PSTEC products out there – it can be a bit overwhelming (PSTEC free, PSTEC 2015, PSTEC advanced 1 and 2, +ve, -ve, etc).

    My plan is as follows:
    (1) remove all the blockages in my life that stems from trauma – super disciplinarian high achieving critical parents who did not show me love (but were great guardians and made me into a successful person otherwise)
    (2) loads of bullying – was quite fat from 5-15 yrs old (then have generally maintained my figure
    (3) some issues around beliefs around performing during sex (ED, penis envy, PE) and sexuality (sexuality issues are more a result of issues with performance anxiety)
    (4) don't form deep relationships – quite easily form superficial ones, getting harder these days as I get older and people have their own lives/family
    (5) issues about getting older (40) and attracting a mate
    (6) less judgemental/pickiness re: my partner (e.g. height, age, education, career, weight, etc)

    Then work on the positive stuff:
    (A) let my energetic and pure inner child shine
    (B) get comfortable with the opposite sex and being sexual, risque with them – give myself permission to break the heavy burden of being 'a socially well behaved person'
    (C) open myself and be vulnerable to my partner, rather than be putting up guards and walls, and/or assess their worthiness and keep them at an arms distance
    (D) fall in love for the first time  ::) ;D ;)

    So any tips and guidance would be appreciated, esp around which products to use when and how… I have tried to look up a practitioner but they are charging in the order of $500 here in London so it is something I would prefer to get started on on my own and see where I get with it.

    #25207
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Kuteguy,

    It is good that you have a clear plan on what to work on and what you wish to achieve.

    I appreciate it can be confusing, as there are a lot of tracks and different tutorials.

    It is, however, more straightforward than you might think.

    For the emotional issues, simply use the Click Tracks. For beliefs, you can use PSTEC Positive anr Negative. Start with the emotions. Work.on those initially.

    I would recommend using the Free Click Track to neutralise some of your unwanted emotions – you could start on something minor. This will familiarise you with the tracks and, once you see some of the incredible changes taking place, you can then purchase other products as you see fit and if you wish to go further with this.

    There is s wealth of great information on the PSTEC site and on numerous threads on this forum.

    The free Mindfulness https://pstecaudiosource.org/accounts/376ux/24861/order tutorial gives excellent information about how to use some of the PSTEC tools systematically to create profound change.

    You will find that the pattern you identified can be resolved by working through the issues with consistency and commitment.

    I look forward to reading more from you.

    Paul


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25208
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi kuteguy

    You have made great start already. You have a plan, you have listed some issues to be worked on, you have I assume the Free Basic Click Tracks and so you can go forward, confident that you have the right tools that will do the job. Next you have to make a start and use the tools you have. That is… get Clicking!

    There are as you say many more packages and I will suggest a few as you progress, you only need the Basic Click Tracks in order to get going. To me those bullying incidents will have quite discrete memories that will respond quickly to the Click Tracks while lack of love from your parents is a more vague problem.

    Report back in a few days and let us know what progress you have made.

    Peter

    #25209
    Avatarkuteguy
    PSTEC User

    Thanks both for your quick replies – I feel really supported. I will report back next week

    #25210
    Avatarkuteguy
    PSTEC User

    so listened to a lot of the free PSTEC stuff out there (is this my way of procrastinating start working on the main issues?)

    Decided last night to start working on the most immediate thing on my mind – my break-up with my hot girlfriend (but nothing much else to offer, nice person regardless) a month back. The loop that has been running in my mind is how easy it is for her to get over me because the minute she left my apartment she could have gone on tinder and met another guy for drinks/dinner/more – it is so easy for her to meet another guy within minutes and not so easy for me. And she would because there is not much else in her life but to have a guy to lean on.

    Anyway, after doing one round of click track I felt the endless loops stopped playing. Now I am in the 'wish I had done non-constructive xxxx or said non-constructive yyyy' mode – I will click this away tomorrow night.

    What I want to do now is be able to go into the deep ingrained experience of physical abuse from my dad (disciplinarian) and school bullies -> I am quite frozen on this and there is no such immediate emotion to work on. Although I am 101% sure that it contributes 150% to my [implicit] feeling of worthlessness. In the conscious mind I think I am a great guy and a great catch.

    I have started reading the posts in http://pstecforum.com/pf/feelings-ratings-suds-and-the-level-of-your/ to see how to be able to reach deeper into my sub-conscious and remove those negative emotions. And the two sticky posts from Jeff in this section of the forum.

    Then ofcourse, after negative emotions are removed, move to removing negative beliefs, and then to adding positive beliefs.

    #25211
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi kuteguy

    You do not need to recall the emotion of the bullying/abuse just the memories. Start Click Tracking on these as soon as you can. If you find yourself putting it off then just run a Click Track without a target and then try to recall some of those times while the track is running. Procrastination is often driven by a fear. If you are afraid of recalling painful memories then this in itself is a Click Trackable feeling.

    Peter

    #25212
    AvatarBrian Tucker
    PSTEC User

    I have started reading the posts in http://pstecforum.com/pf/feelings-ratings-suds-and-the-level-of-your/ to see how to be able to reach deeper into my sub-conscious and remove those negative emotions. And the two sticky posts from Jeff in this section of the forum.

    Then ofcourse, after negative emotions are removed, move to removing negative beliefs, and then to adding positive beliefs.

    Check out the post on the “why technique”

    #25213
    Paul McCabePaul McCabe
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Kuteguy,

    As Peter and Plus1g advised, there are quick ways to both access the feelings/memories and start dissolving some of the emotions now.

    Your sub has stored all these memories, and your behavioural and emotional patterns are largely controlled by the sub.

    So, do your best to go with the process, and the pieces will fall into place. It is just a matter of staying with it.

    It seems that you have some resentment towards your ex-girlfriend, and that might be worth working on too. You can do this with the CTs. You can consciously decide not to be with someone, but resentment itself rarely does us any good. Getting rid of resentment, jealousy (and such) and challenging our own assumptions can be very effective.

    Also, some people do SEEM to move on, but they may not actually have moved on. It is possible that your ex either misses you, is lonely or wishes for you to feel jealous. Everyone has their own programming, patterns and they may not be what they appear to be on the surface.

    The bullying, I would suggest, while very traumatic for you…was not about you, what weight you were or how you looked. People who bully would likely do it to anyone, and will pick on someone who is vulnerable at that time – you might have already felt unsure of yourself as your dad was a disciplinarian, and that was clearly not what you needed. Plenty of people who look a certain way have never been bullied. You simply got unlucky at that time in your life and, sadly, these sort of experiences can set up false expectations of people.

    When CTing the bullying, it might prove useful for you to revisit those memories and see them through the eyes of the person you were then. See what you saw, hear what you heard and try to evoke the feelings you had then. This can be an extremely effective way of getting rid of the  associated emotions.

    I suspect you will find that, when CTing the memories, you will spot patterns in your life and these will start to change for the better. You might be surprised how quickly this happens.

    Paul


    Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

    http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

    Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

    Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

    Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

    #25214
    AvatarTomas Zobal
    PSTEC User

    You do not need to recall the emotion of the bullying/abuse just the memories.

    Peter, is this specific to bullying? My understanding is that we should always try to recall the memory and feel the associated emotion as well. Tim keeps emphasizing this in the beginning of each click track.

    #25215
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Tomas

    You do not need to recall the emotion of the bullying/abuse just the memories.

    Peter, is this specific to bullying? My understanding is that we should always try to recall the memory and feel the associated emotion as well. Tim keeps emphasizing this in the beginning of each click track.

    No, I am just encouraging kuteguy to get started on the Clicking as he is in danger of putting it off. Any Clicking is likely to be more effective than no Clicking. Otherwise your understanding is correct.
    Peter

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