Reply To: Not feeling emotions
Jeff HardingHi Tomas,
Have you ever heard the term, “Whistling past the graveyard?”
Quite often, as I work along side individuals, I notice that they remember an event but when it comes to the emotions and feelings they might say something along these lines, “Idon'tfeelanything…nope…nothing… WhenIthinkofthememorynoemotionsorfeelingscometome.”
Now, not quite the same effect in an email, but, basically, they are saying it very quickly in the subconscious hope to just pass it by and move on to the next subject.
So, in effect, they are whistling past the graveyard… or hurrying past the event or issue. I have never noticed it to be a conscious decisions or action, but something perpetrated by the subconscious because, well, for the most part, the sub is saying,
'Let's not go there… it's scary or painful.'
When I guide people, my questions and technique is to get you to s-l-o-w t-h-e m-e-m-o-r-y d-o-w-n… pause and reflect on the event. For example if a teacher berated you (sorry all you kind teachers out there), you might slow that down… see the reactions from other students, looke at her expression, look at the “young you” if it's third person and see how he feels, if first person imagine how you would feel if someone was saying that like to you right now as the teacher did then… how would you feel?
You see, it's about allowing the emotion to come up… allowing it to come through you.
It may not come as a feeling through your body, but most people can identify what the emotion is and that's a good place to start.
I hope that helps.
Ultimately, if you are still having issues, it may help to have someone guide you along for a bit until you are allowing it through on your own.
Aloha!
Jeff