Reply To: Sex and Libido
Jeff HardingThere are three aspects to consider when doing any kind of change work … Tim refers to them as the Law of Three in How to Achieve Almost Anything – The Easy Way.
They are emotions, beliefs and behaviors.
Emotional aspects are handled using the free Basic Click Tracks and also the EEF's. Beliefs and behaviors are best handled with the PSTEC Positive (PP) tracks. Both the PP and EEF's are in your PSTEC Level 1 package.
The most effective use of the PSTEC Tools is to use the CT/EEF tracks in conjunction with the PP tracks.
Your beliefs come out in your post here…
“I've always had a problem with sexual anxiety”
Begin to address this belief by countering with a Positive Statement (PS) that moves you in the direction you desire and using that PS with PP.
“negative thoughts about my ability to have sex keep surfacing”
What negative thoughts? Do the Two-Step and get quiet for a while with those thoughts… see if your sub will lead you to the cause of those negative thoughts. The cause may be emotional experiences in which case you pull our your CT/EEF tracks and handle them.If the cause (could be both emotional and beliefs) is a belief issue, then put together a PS in accordance with Tim's instructions and pull out your PP.
“When I think of the events that created this I don't get much of an emotional reaction.”
Not much? What I find is that, quite often, people run the CT on an emotional issue once or twice and stop, but do not sit quietly and rate the feeling in between each round of the CT. If it's a 3-4, that may not seem “like much” compared to a “10,” but it means it's “still there.” So, run it again until you get it down to 0-1. If it's stuck at a certain number after a few times, you may not be targeting the CT work properly. But, if it keeps moving, run the CT again with that issue.
Your specific question:
Do I concentrate on the past events with PSTEC first or concentrate on the negative thought pattern regarding my ability to have sex and the threat of failure?
It is best to handle the emotional issues first so that the emotional intensity is either neutralized completely or significantly down before using the PP with your PS because it's more likely your PS will be accepted by the sub.So, when emotions are low, that is the ideal time to take your “crafted” PS and use PP.In fact, a great strategy with any PSTEC session is to lower or neutralize emotions with CT/EEF and then end the session with a PS that is empowering and run at least one PP track.If you awake and have no emotional issues running, just jump to using the PP with your PS.Sexual issues can be a bit complex and, quite often, include emotional aspects but there are also many belief aspects that we have assimilated in our sub from our cultural, family and religious rules and definitions.These beliefs can be a bit tricky because they do not come with emotional attachment per se, but are “just fact”… that's the way life is, so as it appears you are doing, keep looking at those thoughts that come through and make a conscious decision whether they serve you or not. If not, begin shifting them by a liberal use of PP. Have fun with it!
Aloha!
Jeff
PS Oh, one more thing… as you make shifts, select aspects of your life that occur quite often… targets if you will … this way you can gauge and measure your progress. In other words, while I do not recommend you go out with a new sexual partner each and every day to test this, you can test it in your mind and also test how comfortable you are around other people.
PPS Ok, one mooooooooooore thing… Consider the use of the PSTEC Accelerators… you can use these tracks for both emotional issues as you would CT/EEF and for belief issues as you would PP.