Reply To: What process should I be following?

#22696
AvatarJason Tilley
PSTEC User

If I do the negative track but no positive does that mean the negative will just come back? Like I've cleared some weeds but if I don't spray the ground then they will just come back?

Also I find it hard to come up with negative statements but I can visualise scenes. Like for example when I get on a bus I see a cute girl and I can't be so obvious as to sit next to her and say hi. I'll glance at her and pray like hell she didn't notice because she won't be impressed.

I've realised through some deep investigation that I think my core belief is that there's a perfect way to do things and if I don't do it that way then I will not attract a girl. Literally what I just wrote about the bus fits that. Perfection means that 'she' has to 'allow' my attraction and if I miss the step of waiting for that permission she will be annoyed.

I remember this one time I was at a party of this girl I know. Her friends sits down and we chat. She then starts touching me and so I reciprocate (note I didn't touch her 'at all' before that because a guy can't touch a girl unless she initiates and gives him a green light…). Once she gave me that green light I was then able to move the physical contact forward myself. But if a girl doesn't touch me first there's no way I can bring myself to touch her and feel okay about it. If I do touch her I then intently analyse everything about her, her facial expression, micro movements to see if I have annoyed her. My mind looking for evidence basically. Which then makes my touch feel awkward, which then provides me with my proof.

So should I simply do a negative on 'women expect perfection in everything I do and say', 'I need to be perfect to attract a woman'. Is that the best, most powerful way of writing it? Or would you recommend something more powerful to clear out that negative thoughts and patterns? And what would you recommend for my positive statement? Something like 'I am perfect exactly how I am', 'Women love (or 'are attracted') to my imperfections'. Again can you think of a more powerful way of writing that?

Thanks heaps! I think I've finally uncovered the root belief, or at least a major one anyway!