Reply To: Which product should I buy?

#22707
AvatarJeff Harding
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

Hi Ony,

Your “obsession” in terms of the ex could take you in several directions to discover the cause or source… difficult to address well here in a forum, but here are some suggestions…

  • What does “losing the ex” mean to you… how does that impact your future?

    This question, quite often, can reveal some fears of imagined events… fear of the future.  There may be emotions here, of course, but also beliefs about your “ability” to experience JEEP without the ex… or without “anyone” as an intimate partner.

  • Here's a challenging approach to expose some of the source of your uncertainty… ah, but very effective… ready?

    This has to do with the “fear of failure”…

    Imagine that you never hook up with the ex… never again… gone for good.  Remember, just imagine it.  How do you feel?  Is it non-JEEP?  If so, take the imagination of how life looks without the ex EVER being a part of your life and try hard to hang onto the feeling while running the Click Tracks.

    One more step to take it a little further…

    Imagine never being with anyone in that type of intimate way you desired with the ex… the things you miss… you just never do… imagine that.  Ok, how does that feel?  Again, if non-JEEP, take that imagined event and the feeling to the Click Tracks.

  • [/list]What you are doing here is clearing away the fear of failure.  Now, some might say you will then never “want” to be with someone… I had that comment once … but, when you think about it, that is just utter rubbish… does not make sense at all.
    No, what happens is that you begin to be at peace with that idea that you might not be intimate again… you begin to not feel like you have to chase things like that and, guess what, when opportunities come along in relationships, you are free to be present, right there, as FULL presence for the other person instead of being off in the future in your mind worrying about something else.
    Make sense?
    One more thing…
    With the ex, another possible angle is that you miss the routine… miss the behaviors that you did together.  Your sub say, “Where did it all go?”  Potential problem is that the sub may want to replace that, but with something similar rather than something of your most conscious desires.
    So, use PSTEC Positive to shift behaviors.  What you used to occupy your time with when with the ex, look at what you desire to do instead.  Craft those into Positive Statements and use with PSTEC Positive.
    If you find yourself “torn” and can't “live without it”… there may be emotional issues there, but also, if there are complexities that you do not want to let go, working with a practitioner may help quite a bit to give you direction.
    Quite a bit and that's not all the suggestions, but, again, it may be best if you find yourself a bit “stuck” on it, to get with a practitioner and let them guide you.
    Aloha nui!
    Jeff