Reply To: Worry, and obsessive thoughts about other people’s opinions

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#22749
AvatarMeghan Saunders
PSTEC User

Hi Nick

Welcome to PSTEC!  Be proud of yourself for recognizing where you are, what you don't like about it and realizing you want to make some changes!  It is not a small step.

Pstec is a wonderful tool to use for the issues you list above (and those you are not yet aware of) – – but most definitely you can use the Free Click Tracks to get you started immediately in moving yourself forward.

I usually suggest people do make a list of all the things they KNOW bother them, upset them, things they don't like about self & all list all the people, places, businesses, policies – – – WHATEVER it is for you – that makes you feel tense, angry, uncomfortable 

Write out a list of strong negative feelings, memories or responses that evoke strong negative emotion and write them down.  Then go in an rate each item listed on a scale of 0-10 of UPSET/negative feelings each listed items brings up for you.  Write a # down next to each item.

Next, I suggest starting with the strongest – most bothersome issues first.  Tim will ask you to re-rate, take note of your new # and do more rounds of Click Tracks until you can ideally reach 0 – then cross it off the list.

The next time you sit down for a pstec session – get out your notebook, look at highest # issue and now recall the memory or feeling – – – Rate it anew from 0-10 – write # down, do click tracks – rinse and repeat!

Continue on down the line.  An interesting side-effect to working down your list can be a bit amusing.  You may find yourself looking over your list and you realize many items on your list no longer bring up thoughts or emotions even though you did not click track on these specifically – if you clear their supporting evidence higher up – – you clear below too.  Very Cool!

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In working with the information you listed – I see a few great areas to get you started:

Keep in mind that ultimately FEAR – is THE underlying negative emotion that you are dealing with – it just presents itself in various other forms:  Worry, anxiety, stress, rejection – wondering what others are thinking.  These are all rooted in the emotion FEAR.

What if they don't like me.  Sit with that, feel that – – – click on that.

So – – use the Free Click Tracks to bring up your negative feelings, emotions stirred when thinking of past situations OR imagined situations in the future and click track through these emotions and thoughts & fears.

Maybe write down clear memories from experiences – and recall the memory in detail & RE-feel it – – – work with that “how it makes you feel” – feeling in the Free Click Tracks.

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Typically, the types of emotions you mention come from core beliefs you have about yourself.  These run along the lines of: 

– Not good enough
– I don't trust: myself (my judgement, my ideas, my self-worth)
– I don't value: myself (my judgement, my ideas, my self-worth)

These beliefs, this belief system you have constructed can be remodeled with PSTEC POSITIVE.

The 'things that happen to you' – – your experiences occur because of your belief system.  In essence they constantly reaffirm your beliefs – – – happening again and again – – – until you literally 'wall yourself up' (staying home) BECAUSE, you 'believe' every time you ____________________ – _________________________ happens & it does – which reaffirms your beliefs – – – I TOLD YOU SO!

With building your trust with yourself – – – using tools like PSTEC – – – you can use this exact same formula – – – FOCUSING on _______________________ to get ________________ results as seen above (WE ALL KNOW THIS) and FLIP IT – – – do what you are doing with POSITIVE THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that things are GOING TO unfold a certain way.  Turn the same power around and point it in the other direction.  It is what you focus on.  So focus on what you do want – focus on how you want it to be – how you want to feel.

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The cliché that you have to love yourself first – – is TRUTH & it took me nearly 40 years to understand the meaning of what it really means & quite honestly, my work with PSTEC helped me see this light – this TRUTH.  I am here because I hope I can help others see it for what it is too.  To not hear it as an annoying cliché but to hear it an go – – I wish more people could 'own it'!!!

There really are only 2 emotions:  LOVE and FEAR.  They are the opposite of each other and by definition, what is not love – is fear.  All the other emotions we have names for are rooted in either LOVE or FEAR.

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Use the Free Click Tracks on your EMOTIONS and FEELINGS & how certain memories make you feel – – – OR click on fear around FUTURE imagined events

Once you clear this level

Move into PSTEC POSITIVE to reformulate your beliefs about yourself and others.  You can also use the accelerators to bump it up a notch.

Perhaps it is corny sounding – however, it is truth that when you truly love, trust and accept yourself – for who you are – – and can cherish & celebrate your individuality – – value and honor your self – – – – – –  there just is no fear of what other people think.  It WILL NOT matter to a  self-loving person because those kind of thoughts will no longer cross their mind.

With PSTEC work these kind of thoughts first diminish and then vanish over time.

Hope this helps!

Meghan