Worry, and obsessive thoughts about other people’s opinions

Forums General Discussions and Specific Issues Miscellaneous and Other Topics Worry, and obsessive thoughts about other people’s opinions

  • This topic is empty.
Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #21449
    AvatarNick Earl
    PSTEC User

    Hi,

    Glad to be here. Looking forward to mastering this powerful technique, and changing my currently somewhat nightmarish life to something more enjoyable!

    Brief idea of where I'm at:

    I had some pretty negative bullying experiences when I was young, which basically programmed me to distrust people generally, and have a whole bunch of negative feelings about people, myself, and my relationship with people, not to mention some abondonement, and low self esteem feelings too.

    Today and for some time now, I have pretty ongoing depression, anxiety, and more specifically social anxiety. Basically, it's not much fun, and it's stopping me enjoy life.

    I don't think I used to be one of these people, but I seem to have also developed the habit of worrying ALL THE TIME.

    Most of my worry revolves around my relationships, more specifically what other people think of me, which I guess is related to the social anxiety, and negative programming of other people judging me.

    Also, another big source of the worry, is worrying about the fact that some people in my life didn't like me, and rejected me in the recent or distant past.

    Rejection, and fear of rejection seem to be a big theme with my problems.

    Anyway, without going on too much, how do I tackle worry with PSTEC? should I list each thing that I repetitively worry about, and then just work on one memory, or upcoming event at a time?

    Thank you so much for putting this out there!

    Nick

    #22748
    AvatarPSTEC Mike
    PSTEC User

    Hello,

    Interesting topic and I'm eagerly awaiting the response from Jeff. In my opinion from everything I've read and heard, there's a couple of ways to go about this.

    Think of a memory when you were rejected and TRY to feel how they felt. Something I worry about too is feeling the exact feeling. However, all you have to do is try to feel it and that's enough.

    If you don't have a memory, just a fear. You can make up a memory from when you younger that contains the elements of being rejected. I learned this on one of the tutorials. You can imagine, for example, you're in, say, second grade and you asked a girl to be your girlfriend and she said “Eww, get away from me, loser” and everyone laughed or something like that. It didn't really happen to you, but it contains the feelings of rejection which is enough to eliminate it using the click tracks.

    Or you can think of something imagined in the future.

    Quite a few ways to go about it. Jeff is really the expert, so hold on a bit because he always responds to help people.

    #22749
    AvatarMeghan Saunders
    PSTEC User

    Hi Nick

    Welcome to PSTEC!  Be proud of yourself for recognizing where you are, what you don't like about it and realizing you want to make some changes!  It is not a small step.

    Pstec is a wonderful tool to use for the issues you list above (and those you are not yet aware of) – – but most definitely you can use the Free Click Tracks to get you started immediately in moving yourself forward.

    I usually suggest people do make a list of all the things they KNOW bother them, upset them, things they don't like about self & all list all the people, places, businesses, policies – – – WHATEVER it is for you – that makes you feel tense, angry, uncomfortable 

    Write out a list of strong negative feelings, memories or responses that evoke strong negative emotion and write them down.  Then go in an rate each item listed on a scale of 0-10 of UPSET/negative feelings each listed items brings up for you.  Write a # down next to each item.

    Next, I suggest starting with the strongest – most bothersome issues first.  Tim will ask you to re-rate, take note of your new # and do more rounds of Click Tracks until you can ideally reach 0 – then cross it off the list.

    The next time you sit down for a pstec session – get out your notebook, look at highest # issue and now recall the memory or feeling – – – Rate it anew from 0-10 – write # down, do click tracks – rinse and repeat!

    Continue on down the line.  An interesting side-effect to working down your list can be a bit amusing.  You may find yourself looking over your list and you realize many items on your list no longer bring up thoughts or emotions even though you did not click track on these specifically – if you clear their supporting evidence higher up – – you clear below too.  Very Cool!

    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

    In working with the information you listed – I see a few great areas to get you started:

    Keep in mind that ultimately FEAR – is THE underlying negative emotion that you are dealing with – it just presents itself in various other forms:  Worry, anxiety, stress, rejection – wondering what others are thinking.  These are all rooted in the emotion FEAR.

    What if they don't like me.  Sit with that, feel that – – – click on that.

    So – – use the Free Click Tracks to bring up your negative feelings, emotions stirred when thinking of past situations OR imagined situations in the future and click track through these emotions and thoughts & fears.

    Maybe write down clear memories from experiences – and recall the memory in detail & RE-feel it – – – work with that “how it makes you feel” – feeling in the Free Click Tracks.

    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

    Typically, the types of emotions you mention come from core beliefs you have about yourself.  These run along the lines of: 

    – Not good enough
    – I don't trust: myself (my judgement, my ideas, my self-worth)
    – I don't value: myself (my judgement, my ideas, my self-worth)

    These beliefs, this belief system you have constructed can be remodeled with PSTEC POSITIVE.

    The 'things that happen to you' – – your experiences occur because of your belief system.  In essence they constantly reaffirm your beliefs – – – happening again and again – – – until you literally 'wall yourself up' (staying home) BECAUSE, you 'believe' every time you ____________________ – _________________________ happens & it does – which reaffirms your beliefs – – – I TOLD YOU SO!

    With building your trust with yourself – – – using tools like PSTEC – – – you can use this exact same formula – – – FOCUSING on _______________________ to get ________________ results as seen above (WE ALL KNOW THIS) and FLIP IT – – – do what you are doing with POSITIVE THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that things are GOING TO unfold a certain way.  Turn the same power around and point it in the other direction.  It is what you focus on.  So focus on what you do want – focus on how you want it to be – how you want to feel.

    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

    The cliché that you have to love yourself first – – is TRUTH & it took me nearly 40 years to understand the meaning of what it really means & quite honestly, my work with PSTEC helped me see this light – this TRUTH.  I am here because I hope I can help others see it for what it is too.  To not hear it as an annoying cliché but to hear it an go – – I wish more people could 'own it'!!!

    There really are only 2 emotions:  LOVE and FEAR.  They are the opposite of each other and by definition, what is not love – is fear.  All the other emotions we have names for are rooted in either LOVE or FEAR.

    – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

    Use the Free Click Tracks on your EMOTIONS and FEELINGS & how certain memories make you feel – – – OR click on fear around FUTURE imagined events

    Once you clear this level

    Move into PSTEC POSITIVE to reformulate your beliefs about yourself and others.  You can also use the accelerators to bump it up a notch.

    Perhaps it is corny sounding – however, it is truth that when you truly love, trust and accept yourself – for who you are – – and can cherish & celebrate your individuality – – value and honor your self – – – – – –  there just is no fear of what other people think.  It WILL NOT matter to a  self-loving person because those kind of thoughts will no longer cross their mind.

    With PSTEC work these kind of thoughts first diminish and then vanish over time.

    Hope this helps!

    Meghan

    #22750
    AvatarNick Earl
    PSTEC User

    Amazing Meghan!

    Thanks so much for your long, detailed, and insightful post.

    I have already purchased pp, and the advanced tracks, so I'm all set to go. I've got a list of all the negative “rejection experiences” that I think have a fairly high charge, so now it's just a matter of going through those to start with, and seeing how much I can clear.

    I've sure got my work cut out for me, but as I think you said in your interview with Jeff, you can either do it, or not do it, which is not as fun – or something along those lines :D

    I'm also considering getting a session or 2 with Jeff, just to work out a “plan” of how to really deal with all this stuff in the best way, but for now, I think I need to prove to myself, that I can consistently feel better about things by using PSTEC as self help.

    I'm pretty excited by the possibilities of clearing all my limiting feelings with pstec, and then installing new positive feelings and beliefs with PP. There's a bit of doubt still there, but I believe I have woken up feeling more positive after the few days of doing just an hour or so of PSTEC for the first time. Mornings are always a struggle for me, so that's a good sign anyway (and  in my experience with doing eft tapping, and sedona method in the past, your sleep and wake are noticably affected in a positive way, when true “releasing” has taken place.

    Anyway, I got work to do! time to make using PSTEC a part of my daily habit, so I can clear this stuff, and start living the life of my dreams, without any blocks!!

    Thanks again for your support!

    Sincerely,

    Nick

    #22751
    AvatarMeghan Saunders
    PSTEC User

    Hi Nick –

    You are most welcome – happy to help.

    Oh right, my interview!  :-  Funny you should mention it actually, I did think about my PSTEC social anxiety experiment when I was writing my last sentence.  I was a the 'dance place' the other night and there was a moment when I took note of. . . my surroundings and I thought – wow, what a difference time makes & it is somewhat difficult now to imagine how I – – – used to see things.  I can recall & I remember but I don't FEEL anything negative and the positive change is what sticks out.

    It is 'work' to take the time to get personal with yourself and start a nurturing of self program that involves challenges and changing your comfort zone.  I suppose the idea of 'work' (effort) is what puts most people off?  “They say” only 85% of the population takes the time to sit with self and get to know self.  And that is why I wanted to note – – KUDOS for recognizing & starting.  I believe PSTEC has a wonderful 'power' to connect with true self quickly.  Like a direct dial.  Many people are quite afraid to do this, know the self – – – so it is easier to continue on in comfortable discomfort.  Be kind to yourself as you unravel your mystery.

    I'm not sure how I said it on the audio but what I know I intended was along the lines of – time passes, days, months years and decades – – – quickly – so whether you take the time to focus on improving you 'weak points' or not – – – the time still passes.  So even though it might appear as 'work' – or 'a lot to do' or 'it's going to take a long time' – – – even if it does – – – more than likely (experience says YES) – – – you are going to have results in the long run and over time  – SIMPLY by taking the time to attend to & develop the self.  PSTEC 'work' is fun and exciting.

    We all aware of the sand in the hour glass –  so having a notebook and putting together a plan and getting help from Jeff to help you formulate one – – is a great plan & you are on your way.  In no time – – I imagine you'll be impressed with your own progress.

    Do report back – would love to hear how it is going.  — meghan

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.