Reply To: Looking to release my relationship issues

#23224
Avataroz
PSTEC User

My intentions are for her to like me. I feel bad because I 'want' her to like me as in I don't expect her to. But hold on a sec, you're assuming I have bad intentions. Just because I feel bad for looking at a girl doesn't mean I'm having bad intentions. Wanting a girl to like me is not a bad intention. The negative part is that I assume she won't like me, not that what I'm doing is actually wrong. I feel wrong because I have a whole shitload of negative beliefs that guys can't show a women their interest, that they need permission.

I'm not saying I believe you have bad intentions. I'm saying YOU believe you have bad intentions :) You say you have the belief that you need permission to show interest, so when you show interest without permission, when you are looking without permission you believe you are doing something wrong so you feel bad and avert your eyes.

Think about looking at someone and instead of focusing on what they think of you, focus on yourself and how you feel, how you feel that you need permission, how you feel you are doing something wrong and click track it away. You shouldn't feel bad about someone catching your eye so this should fix that. Whether you then choose to avert your eyes, that's up to you but you can then make the choice in a healthy way. Any beliefs you believe are negative; PStec Positive is the tool to change them if you want.

In terms of being the great guy, (my perspective here, feel free to ignore this) if you can't even see the path to that, then dating I would suggest is thinking one step ahead too far. You should put your energy into getting onto that path, you don't need to travel far down it, you just need to get on it first. Then as you travel down that path at any point you can look at finding a relationship, but this time from a healthy position.