Reply To: Where to start? Suicide fear, agoraphobia, confidence…etc!

#23323
AvatarKerryC
PSTEC User

I wanted to add I'm a massive under acheiver, I know I can do so much but fail to finish things because it all gets on top of me … I'm very lazy too :( I prefer to avoid doing stuff and sometimes I just don't know why?! ) eg getting up early to walk our dogs. My husband gets very fed up as I'm fast asleep and hate waking up early. I have tried everything to go with him n be nice but I'm just a tired grumpy lump. I don't really care about going out so its made me lazy. I'm happier indoors ignoring everything :( I want to change and I'm very ready. I'm petrified he will kick me out one day and ill be homeless with ni income and no way to claim benefits. After all I'm ok…it's all mental and chances of any help would be zero. I feel like I'm walking a knife edge of keeping him happy and not letting him know how bad I feel as it annoys him. He says there's nothing wrong its all in my head (ironic) ;) we don't have kids so I spend my days doing housework and trying to look busy as he hates seeing me sitting around. We are very happy except for my lazy ness/avoidance/ insecurity… I wonder if anyone can do Skype but I don't have much money as I have no income. I'd appreciate any help just getting going with PSTECH…. I know I can do this. I can actually be very positive and ambitious!  :)