Where to start? Suicide fear, agoraphobia, confidence…etc!

Forums General Discussions and Specific Issues General Anxiety…Social Anxiety… Panic Attacks…Agoraphobia Where to start? Suicide fear, agoraphobia, confidence…etc!

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  • #21573
    AvatarKerryC
    PSTEC User

    I could do with a little direction on what to say/ think when tapping. I'm 42 and at 19 I witnessed a train suicide. It 'proved' everything my mother told me about the world being bad etc…since then every day thing feels like its concreted these feelings. I became agoraphobic a few years later when I began to get panic attacks when travelling.  I'm unable to drive, work, function fully due to my ability to freak out when I have too much to do or too much responsibility. It's affecting my marriage 2nd) and I MUST stop this destructive behaviour. When I get overwhelmed I start thinking omg I'm not coping I'm clearly having a breakdown I don't want to kill myself …I get so wrapped up in the fear I actually convince myself I'm really about too! It's draining. I purchased the level 1 PSTECH today and feel very relaxed at the moment having thought about panicking on a train the first time. Then I tapped a second time for feeling suicidal/ fear of feeling suicidal/ fear of being alone/ desperation and loneliness…all emotions that felt grouped together. I'm not sure where to start next and if I'm doing it right? I truly want this to work. I need it too because I don't want to lose another partner whs getting fed up… X thankyou

    #23323
    AvatarKerryC
    PSTEC User

    I wanted to add I'm a massive under acheiver, I know I can do so much but fail to finish things because it all gets on top of me … I'm very lazy too :( I prefer to avoid doing stuff and sometimes I just don't know why?! ) eg getting up early to walk our dogs. My husband gets very fed up as I'm fast asleep and hate waking up early. I have tried everything to go with him n be nice but I'm just a tired grumpy lump. I don't really care about going out so its made me lazy. I'm happier indoors ignoring everything :( I want to change and I'm very ready. I'm petrified he will kick me out one day and ill be homeless with ni income and no way to claim benefits. After all I'm ok…it's all mental and chances of any help would be zero. I feel like I'm walking a knife edge of keeping him happy and not letting him know how bad I feel as it annoys him. He says there's nothing wrong its all in my head (ironic) ;) we don't have kids so I spend my days doing housework and trying to look busy as he hates seeing me sitting around. We are very happy except for my lazy ness/avoidance/ insecurity… I wonder if anyone can do Skype but I don't have much money as I have no income. I'd appreciate any help just getting going with PSTECH…. I know I can do this. I can actually be very positive and ambitious!  :)

    #23324
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Aloha Kerry …

    You have the beginnings right there in your mind… you have some awareness there…

    “I witnessed a train suicide. It 'proved' everything my mother told me about the world being bad etc…since then every day thing feels like its concreted these feelings.”

    While it's true that may be a very pivotal moment, most times it's “the straw that breaks the camel's back” type of scenario where, as Tim illustrates, the scales tipped for you in the direction of looking for safety in solitude because, as you said, 'The world is bad' … and your subconscious mind is trying to find a way to protect you.

    Of course, when it comes to success in any area of life, whether it's health, business/work, relationships or even enjoying the world; if you feel the world is bad and unsafe, how can you possibly motivate yourself to do anything except minimal survival?

    PSTEC is all about shifting your mind model from one that views the world as bad and unsafe to one that is filled with J.E.E.P.* and also unlimited opportunities!!

    * (joy, enthusiasm, excitement, peace)

    • So, a great move is to recall that day on the train and what you witnessed while TRYING HARD to feel the non-JEEP feelings and use the Click Track or even the EEF's tracks from the Level 1 Package until that memory holds no more fear or anxiety.
    • You can also do something similar in terms of memories when it comes to other anxious moments and memories of panic attacks.  Be sure to review Tim's tutorial on panic attacks that comes with the Free Basic PSTEC Package.
    • Another area to consider is beliefs.  It sounds like your mother and others talked about the badness and danger of the world so shifting those beliefs will move you along as well because when it comes to panic attacks and anxiety, beliefs play a very strong role in keeping you in that pattern.  Enter the use of PSTEC Positive! Good stuff!  :)
    • [/list]So, begin to address the panic and anxiety so that you have more freedom to do what you desire and live more fully.  Then you can begin to move into the other areas because if you are frozen by anxiety and panic, then trying to force yourself past that to do other things you “should” do may cause even more trauma.
      Make sense?
      If you need some guidance, visit my personal PSTEC site, listed below under my signature and I have a “Set Your Own Rate” program and may be able to get you started and/or help you along in an affordable manner.
      Be sure to listen to Liz's story on the interviews and even on this Forum as she has completely transformed her life by effectively shifting her mind model when it came to panic and anxiety… http://pstecaudiosource.org/1592/pstec-interview-liz
      Malama Pono!
      Jeff

    #23325
    AvatarKerryC
    PSTEC User

    Jeff, thankyou for the kindess in replying. I appreciate your advice ! I will def use the methods you have recommended. I have been using the click tracks 3 or 4 times a day ( usually mornings or evenings ) on events form the past / feelings I get when faced with situations that make me uncomfortable and they have really helped! I have noticed I feel very 'peaceful' which is a very odd feeling and wonderful lol. I don't have the overwhelming fear that I have experienced for several weeks and a lot of the worries that pop into my mind seem to have just faded away. It really is quite incredible. When I have a negative feeling now I note it and think ok ill work on that later…eg : my husband and I have problems when we go shopping..he likes to frogmarch through the store and buy whats on HIS list….I like to wander and mooch and enjoy being out of the house ! I always choose 'fancy' food and hes a beans on toast ma haha……today he mentioned going out and I felt so angry and resentful before we even went! I got my click track ( its on a very handy free app on my phone!) went to a quite place and did two rounds of my feeling sof anger/resentment and frustration. Afterwards I thought well….that's the way he likes to do it. I can always go shopping with my friends for other stuff..so its ok. ALL my feelings had GONE. This is a simple everyday use of PTEC and im so pleased I can use it on the big stiff as well as the little things like this , which just make life 'smoother'. Im actually looking forward to going out with him later and showing him how easy going I CAN be. :) LOVE PSTECH. Ill come back and update you on how im working through the other issues as I knock them into shape ;)thanks !

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