Reply To: bothered

#23372
Avatarkei
PSTEC User

hi, me again
many thanks to bob, oz, jeff, i appreciate it

I was wandering about this idea of naturally feeling well and idea of controlling your mind with will power or force it so it eventually has to adapt to dominant thoughts of confidence etc.
So Tim says ''most often greater wealth of abundance comes from seeing things in a different way, letting go of a fear, thinking correctly…'', Mr. Hill says a lot about controlling your mind that human can rip out every negative emotion by simply controlling his thoughts.
I find that this is semi truth, when i do this forcing i gain victory sometimes and other times end feeling beat up by forcing
please explain this two models more thoroughly, i am very confused over them

can i whine a bit please? here is my past that keeps haunting me, so let me unburden my cause
I remember being a perfectly free in early childhood, very active, social, fearless. Then my insanely ''moralist'' mother started abusing me with harsh critique that i am never good enough, not appropriate, always embarrassing her, this and that, and that is pretty much everything i heard from her. Not a single smile, play or conversation with is given that i remember, she total neglect everything that i am and if i was ever showing myself she marked it as something utterly bad. Ok, I wasn't buying all this junk, but I soon had learned it is not ok to be me, i have to put a mask on it to protect me from world.

Then in my early adolescence i kept this mask as it became my alter ego with time and i was a bit insecure in myself and all, nothing scary, thing that flattered me is being sexually attractive, compensating no love from mother for approval of men.
I met a boyfriend who was extremely intelligent and abusive that convinced me totally that i am crazy, not good by his stupid standards, that my friends are idiots, and whole myself is one big nothing, nothing to love and appreciate about me, and most ugliest things he bump into my head.

I had a breakdown, guess neither do i or my mask work well, panic attacks followed, anxiety, depression, social anxiety which is worse thing of these evils that stays till today.
i am kind of embarrassed whining so much abut this as nobody likes weak, neither do i, whats past is past they say
When i click on this two things i cry and cry, but not feeling like i am ever done with this. CT are not as powerful for me like when i first started with them, and i click a lot, never doubt in them.

I am also interested in PTSD for PSTEC, but Jeff want to hear your opinion on that, is it a tutorial or some special hypno tracks, how can i work it out by myself, i guess it has to do with neutralizing trauma and i have no counteractions accessing these moments of abusing

thank you so much, love you