Reply To: How to know when subconscious is prodding ?

#23468
Avatarrequin
PSTEC User

Thanks so much Jeff.  I had to read your reply a second time..the first time it was late and I was tired and it didn't make much sense!  But this time it does make sense…completely.

I'm surprised really that you saw so much in my short query.  Fear pretty much runs my life!!  I am afraid of everything!  And yes I have tons of fear regarding this r'ship because since he ended it I have obsessed about trying to get him to give us another chance.  I feel I cannot live w/out him!!  It's been absolutely gut wrenching and heart breaking. I know how crazy it is but I'm helpless in the throes of it.  gah!

Yes I know it's a long complicated situation I won't go into here but you are right that my motives (or whatever) may be skewed.  I'm an anxious attachment type (aka love addict) and he's an avoidant attachment type which caused most of the issues which he felt meant we needed to end our r'ship. But neither of us knew he was an avoidant while we went out; I discovered it afterwards. (Why I never thought of that, knowing as much as I do about anxious/addict types, is beyond me, but I didn't.)

So anyway that's another issue I suppose but being an anxious attachment type precludes me to a lot of fear and anxiety when it comes to r'ships.  At my age (52) I would think I'd have gotten better but in fact this is the worst breakup I've ever been through. I have become more neurotic w/ age and worry about EVERYTHING and while I was dating this man I couldn't believe he was actually mine and feared all the time that he would leave.  And voila after one year, he left!!!  Just goes to show we get what we think about doesn't it. :(

Anywho so I very much like your suggestion to CT the fear. 

I did in fact ask him today if he would like to go to the concert and surprisingly, after a little hedging, he said yes.  Well now that was exciting but now of course I'm very leery because I fear (there's that fear again) that he'll bail out / cancel at the last minute.  The concert is Sat night and it's now Wed night so he has almost 3 days to cancel so I'll be a nervous wreck (no doubt) waiting for that dreaded text or phonecall saying he can't go after all.

So I think I will start doing CT on the fear of him cancelling and the subsequent fear I know I will have of what then will be our future….I waited all this time for a chance to spend time w/ him again (we've been broken up about 7-8 weeks) so I'm placing a lot of importance on this concert to spend some light and friendly time together w/ no pressure etc. Just to sort of keep my 'foot in the door' with him.  If it all bombs I will freak out as I have been.

I have huge abandonment issues and that was one of the first things I CT'd about when I got the free audios.  The CTs helped too when I was feeling almost suicidal about my breakup…I had immediate relief from those thoughts one day when I did a CT.  Amazing!  The abandonment issues didn't go away though (they may have lessened but that's a long standing deep seated problem); definitely need more CT sessions.

Thanks so much for your help. 

I'm still listening to wealth of abundance every night and believe it's because of that, that my man friend said Yes to going on Sat.  I also had some friends come out of the woodwork last weekend and invite me to a party, they very much wanted me to go.  I don't have hardly any friends and I”m very isolated so that was truly the W.O.A. working, I believe it!  It is drawing love (my abundance of choice) in ways I haven't even thought about. 

I'm looking at Tim's other items; I really like the WOA hypno audio and want to possibly get or explore more of those.  How long is “Positive Empowered”?  I would really like to try that one.

Can't remember if I mentioned I bought Level 1 and have a lot of work to do with that one, only just started to delve into it.

thanks again.

r.