Reply To: Questions about PSTEC applications
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So I've been doing daily 2-4 rounds of PSTEC free tracks and EEFs on old memories – the cool thing is that PSTEC has actually really helped me with my memory recall; while doing one thing all of a sudden I remember another version of the event that was actually more upsetting or my feelings shift from one to another. As I've been doing the session, it's interesting because I feel like my feelings have gotten more intense and I'm actually surprised at how much something that I really thought I had gotten over is REALLY upsetting me.
I'm working on a feeling of literally being abandoned for a few years when I was younger, so it's an obvious issue in every relationship I've ever had and but also other areas such feeling uneasy in large groups of people/cliques so I'd avoid event like large parties in school or skip social events and then feel abandoned because I was at home by myself while everyone was having fun, feeling abandoned when no one calls me for a few days, my boss doesn't pay attention to me at work, etc. Many of these (like not taking a boss personally) I've learned to deal with through just basic cognitive therapy principles.
Because I'm starting to realize all the times that I have and still do now feel abandoned and alone, I don't actually know if I've cleared the original negative memory because even when I think I have, I'll just say to myself “well you probably felt the same thing that you're feeling now” and then I imagine how I would feel that when I was younger and then all the feelings come back just as strong. So I've feel like I've made progress because I've become much more aware of all of these feelings… but because I'm more aware of them I feel like the feelings are even stronger now as I've been doing the PSTEC? Before, I guess they were so repressed that logically I knew that period of my life had effected me but when I thought about that event I couldn't feel anything and had very limited memories… so I actually don't know if its working on turning down the emotions and whether I can move onto other events.. it's like they are all bothering me simultaneously and I think its just the memory of my entire life not a few particular events that's the problem so I don't even know what to focus on..