Reply To: Second day of Using PSTEC

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October 3, 2014 at 4:46 pm#23630
sweet

    Hi Lisa,

    I'm having mood shifts too.  Smiling, laughing, and feeling a bit lighter, then that internal hammer comes down, but to be honest, that's shifted a bit too, it's not as harsh as it used to be. 

    I've written down four pages of negative crap that has come up while CTing, and it's different, because I'm not a tense mess when doing so.  From time to time, I'll marvel at the fact that I don't have to run from, or cover up the negatives to make other people around me happy (which added to the resentment pile.)

    I still get a general feeling of anxiety though when I think of all the negative memories and event layers I have to deal with.  I sometimes feel desperate for it to be done and over with; there are things I want to do that don't involve feeling like a constant slave to the crap that was imposed on me as a child. 

    I have the evidence in front of me that it works, but I vascillate between the two worlds nonetheless, still, I am quicker to identify when the negatives are attempting to take over, so that's another piece of evidence in the win pile.

    One thing that has helped me when the CTing seems difficult (like too many memories surfacing too quickly) is I'll do 10-15 minutes of exercise.  Nothing heavy duty, just enough to get the oxygen flowing.  Usually involves stretching and then tensing my entire body and releasing a half dozen times or so.  (My butt is shaping up pretty good, lol.) 

    What do you like to do when you're not PSTECing your negatives away?  I could use some new ideas…

    I quit smoking for 30 days or so not too long ago, but I'm back into it again, so I've got an idea of what you're talking about there.  It seems to me I read a reply from Jeff to some fellow that had something to do with asking ourselves why we wouldn't deserve good health.  I quickly clicked away after scanning the thread.  It made me sad, plain & simple. 

    I feel really nervous about posting this, like I'll get in trouble for daring to voice anger and grief while at the same time expressing thoughts about the good shifts.  Silly, I know.

    Hope your day shapes up to be a good one…