Reply To: Has anyone been able to cure blushing?
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Thanks again Peter for your help and apologies for long posts – I just feel that the more I can give you, the better you will be able to assist.
“My first point is that…”, I kind of understand what the message here is, but I'm not sure how to replace one with the other. The truth is that I blush far less in situations when I feel more confident, but the reality is that my confidence could also benefit from a big boost.
“Blushing is a reaction…”, yes, you got it exactly right, my reaction is actually very typical, as described in literature – I blush because I'm afraid I will blush and then others will think what not of me. But because it has been happening for decades, it's become extremely automatic. To give you an example, I could be having a conversation with someone and as long as I am focused on what's been talked about, I can get by… But if I lose focus for a blink of an eye and start focusing on the inside, I immediately have that flash-blushing thought which turns me into a sweaty beetroot. And I agree with Paul (thx for the post!) when he says that blushing is not perceived by many people as a bad thing, some even find it entertaining. Yes, my blushing will do no harm to them, but it is very harmful to me and that is what matters here. On an additional note, I rarely blush twice during the same conversation. And when I blush, I have a feeling of embarrassment, guilt and low-esteem, but on the other hand I feel relieved because I do not need to force myself to pretend to be 'normal' and to hide the beast, as it has already been released and the damage was done. Off course, when I think rationally, I know I'm normal, but the issue, as you know, comes from the sub-conscience. Therefore, I was also considering as an alternative to try out group therapy. Because I try to hide my blushing, I wondered if a public revelation in the group would make any improvement at all? It is relatively easy to write all this down, I wonder if I'd have the guts to speak about it publicly…
“Since the problem…”, when I discovered PSTEC last year, I first experimented with free CTs and then with EEFs. I believe that I used them for about 1.5-2 months with occasional 1-2 day breaks, mainly 2-3 sessions a day. I made a list of situations when I blushed and attempted to click track one by one away. Obviously I couldn't remember all blushing occasions during my long blusher career, so mainly situations which left deep scars made it to the list. I also imagined future situations (e.g. job interviews). What I found extremely difficult was to focus on how I felt in those uncomfortable situations. I could re-live that feeling at the beginning of the session but soon after the start I could not bring it back and all I could do is concentrate on tapping. By the end of the session the intensity of the feeling would really decrease to 0-2, or at least that's what I thought. The issue is that if I came back to that particular blushing situation after a day or two, I would feel uncomfortable yet again. To give another example, there is a female colleague in the office who would make me blush even for looking at me. She is not particularly attractive, but she is extremely confident, pretentious and arrogant at times. For some reason she makes me feel less worthy. I tried to tap that feeling away several times and although the numbers would go down to 2 after each session, when I saw the colleague the next morning, I would blush again. Why is that feeling coming back if it has been almost erased?
It may be that I am not using the tool in the correct way, but if you firmly believe that PSTEC can cure blushing, I am happy to give it another try. In that case I believe I should re-visit my list?