Reply To: Not focusing on memories
The effects of childhood abuse are a dramatic reduction in self worth/self-esteem although you appear to have removed much of the negative feelings around your childhood, that disastrous lack of self worth remains, this colours (discolours?) your whole outlook on life as epitomised by your “fortress of fear….”.
You could try just try Click Tracking the GAD but it would be better if you could identify some triggers for the anxiety. My guess would be almost any social situation. Furthermore any situation involving a member of the same sex as your abuser. It might be any authority figure or it might be someone with the same colour hair. Unfortunately with GAD the triggers are so slight and plentiful and therefore difficult to isolate.
Since you are new to PSTEC I suggest that you first run the tracks while recalling the worst of those early abuse incidents even though you have been through it all before with other therapies. PSTEC is the most thorough remover of unwanted emotions and might finish off what the others have left incomplete. If this is too much for you then you mention a life full of traumas, work with some of those and get used to the Click tracking process. Also Click Track any more recent incident where you have felt “small” or in anyway less of a person, possibly connected with lack of money.
Another area to start with is “What makes you angry” Anger is such a destructive emotion and it quite often stems from low self worth and that injustice the unfairness in life that you suffered while others did not. What has made you angry recently?
As money is an issue there is another FREE hypnotic track from Tim “Wealth of Abundance” you can download it HERE from my site, no signup, no email required. It works to rebuild your self worth in a positive way. As a hypnotic it needs to be listened to frequently over a period of time, if you can then every day for a fortnight. Not while driving, operating machinery or anything else.
Hopefully this gives you a few clues and helps to get you started, please reply and let us know how you get on.