Reply To: Reaction to new tracks. Also some questions.
Glad that you have come back to give PSTEC another go.
It is important to ask yourself before and after the Click Track to how bad is this feeling? On a scale of 0 to 10 where 0 is no feeling and 10 is absolute panic and trust that the first number that comes into your head is OK without any judgement or second guessing. If the Track is working (this will be most times out of ten ) then the number afterwards will be lower. Repeat until you have got down to 0 or say 2. Then move on to another issue/memory. If there is no movement downwards after a few play through's then stop as something is not right and another way forward needs to be looked at. These numbers are your way of knowing that the Click Tracks are working for you. Logically this is nonsense but you are asking your subconscious which does not work with logic. Clearly it cannot be accurate but it is the amount of change and rate of change that is important.
Yawning is a sign that you are relaxed. This is good as it means Tim's words will be more likely be accepted by your subconscious as long as you are able to still focus on keeping the tapping in synch with the Clicks.
No you do not have to keep on opening and closing your eyes to the end. Go for a few times and get back to focussing on trying to recall the memory/emotion and tapping in time.
I do not know about the smiling, I'll get back to you on that one.
Yes it should be possible to wrap a number of similar incidents together generally you would only need to work with the ones you can most clearly remember half a dozen or so should be enough. The more clearly similar the more effective it should be.
The return of the patches does seem to indicate that you are reliving some of the stresses of those early incidents. A change or break in your CT regime might be required if it gets worse.
What to do if you do not seem to be getting anywhere. The PSTEC Click Tracks remove emotions from memories. The memories stay but the way you feel about them changes. This stops your past from affecting your present. You are using the memory and reliving it in your imagination in order to stimulate the feelings around it. Not only the fears and anxiety of being bullied and the experience or just the threat of violence but the following impact of shame of being disgraced or being made to feel small, weak, unimportant. The loss of respect for yourself and imagined amongst your peers. All these can be linked by the one memory but you can also pick on what seems to be the most dominant emotion and CT that.
The bullying alone might be responsible but I suspect that you did not have the support from your parents and teachers that would have got you through this unscathed. Am I anywhere near right here?
You might also try building a worst case scenario based in the future where again you are bullied with all the aspects that made it bad only more so. Building this new imagined disaster should link most of the worst emotions from the past but it is safer to contemplate as it is in a future time. Trying Click Tracking this rather than past memories.
Hopefully I have given you plenty to think about and work on.
Please keep in touch and ask more questions