Reply To: PSTEC vs mindfulness
Right on Peter… let me add one more point and one consideration when it comes to obsessive relationships…
“Mindfulness” for the most part is a conscious exercise and while being conscious can expose some subconscious issues, most mindfulness exercises are limited in their affect on subconscious issues. So, incorporating PSTEC with mindfulness, as Peter pointed out, gives you “powerful assistance” because when you use the various PSTEC tracks on issues arise when you are mindful, you have Tim in your pocket (but not in a weird way ) to help make suggestions and shift subconscious aspects of emotions, beliefs and behaviors.
So, in my last line is one of the keys of consideration when it comes to relationship obsessions and that is beliefs. There are beliefs that lead one to be obsessive that originated, again as Peter pointed out, prior to even knowing this person … i.e. “the issue is not her but another desire which just happens to fixate upon her.”
Look for the beliefs that support this obsessiveness and also beliefs about this person. For example, what I see when I work with someone on an issue like this are beliefs that express, “I can't be without.” Such as: “I can't be without this person”… “I can't be without someone”… “When I am alone, I am lonely”, etc.
So, if those beliefs are strongly ingrained, as they are for many, then you can CT, feel better, but then the beliefs “regenerate” the emotions once again. You see, the CT's worked, but you not only have emotions driving the obsessions, but probably beliefs as well.
Deconstructing these types of beliefs will be easier working with a practitioner rather than on your own so consider visiting the PSTEC Regsitry for help.