PSTEC vs mindfulness

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  • #21808
    psteckie
    PSTEC User

    I am wondering how PSTEC relates to mindfulness. The process itself seems completely different. On the one hand it seems that mindfulness is about bringing awareness to a thought/feeling and allowing this thought/feeling to exist without judging it — simply to observe it. PSTEC seems more like scrambling thoughts/feelings. Can anyone clarify?

    The reason I ask is because I have used PSTEC to stop myself from having strong feelings towards a woman i dated at work but who rejects me now (it's complicated). This worked temporarily, but unfortunately — probably because I see her every day — the problem keeps returning and I find myself obsessing over her again and again. In other words it seems PSTEC puts a plaster on the wound but then before the wound can fully heal it gets ripped open again. I'm thinking maybe mindfulness — i.e. staying with the pain and observing it until it dissolves — might be more longer term. Any views?

    THanks

    #24455
    Peter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi psteckie

    The PSTEC Click Tracks de-associate feelings/emotions from memories and anticipated future events. Breaking the habit if you like, but with the powerful assistance of PSTEC. With mindfulness you are attempting to do a similar thing without the assistance, sort of manually on your own. Both work, your choice!

    With only the brief details given in your post I would suggest using the Click Tracks while focusing on the woman concerned and your feeling towards her. The 0-10 scale before and after is important as I suggest repeating the Click Tracks until you get the score down to 1 or less. Because you see her so often I would try and do this over the weekend starting Friday night. If you have a photo of her you can keep this in front of you while running the Click Track so you see this as you open and close your eyes. This process can be strenghtened with the Enhanced Click Tracks from Level 1 and the Accelerators. You can also Click Track memories of a precise date or dates where things went well for you.

    If your obsession returns after this sort of treatment then the issue is not her but another desire which just happens to fixate upon her. If this is the case then I would expect that if your desire for her ceases then another woman would replace her. This would entail looking further back into your past to find the reason.

    Hope this helps
    Peter

    #24456
    Jeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Right on Peter… let me add one more point and one consideration when it comes to obsessive relationships…

    “Mindfulness” for the most part is a conscious exercise and while being conscious can expose some subconscious issues, most mindfulness exercises are limited in their affect on subconscious issues.  So, incorporating PSTEC with mindfulness, as Peter pointed out, gives you “powerful assistance” because when you use the various PSTEC tracks on issues arise when you are mindful, you have Tim in your pocket (but not in a weird way  :) ) to help make suggestions and shift subconscious aspects of emotions, beliefs and behaviors.

    So, in my last line is one of the keys of consideration when it comes to relationship obsessions and that is beliefs.  There are beliefs that lead one to be obsessive that originated, again as Peter pointed out, prior to even knowing this person … i.e. “the issue is not her but another desire which just happens to fixate upon her.”

    Look for the beliefs that support this obsessiveness and also beliefs about this person.  For example, what I see when I work with someone on an issue like this are beliefs that express, “I can't be without.”  Such as: “I can't be without this person”… “I can't be without someone”… “When I am alone, I am lonely”, etc.

    So, if those beliefs are strongly ingrained, as they are for many, then you can CT, feel better, but then the beliefs “regenerate” the emotions once again.  You see, the CT's worked, but you not only have emotions driving the obsessions, but probably beliefs as well.

    Deconstructing these types of beliefs will be easier working with a practitioner rather than on your own so consider visiting the PSTEC Regsitry for help.

    Aloha!
    Jeff

    #24457
    Arrya
    PSTEC User

    Having done both, I like the idea of using both – you don't have to give up one for the other.  I've used the observing the awful thoughts and feelings and it seems to take away a lot of the edge for using PSTEC directly afterwards.  A lot of useless anxiety is dealt with so you can get further on with what's released with PSTEC CTs.

    In using the mindful observing it helps me that PSTEC goes on to do something about what's brought up instead of sitting there not quite knowing how to process it.

    Having said that, sometimes PSTEC can leave me feeling rattled if the emotions are too intense and I don't want to keep CTing.  Mindfulness meditation afterwards can provide the quietness (and PSTEC sure ain't quiet) to hear that still small voice helping to understand it.  So I guess it's mix match between the two.

    #24458
    Peter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Arrya

    Thank you for reminding me that although the title of this thread was PSTEC vs Mindfulness, and they are clearly different, they can also be complementary.

    Peter

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