Reply To: Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC
Paul McCabeExcellent points, Peter.
I meant it more from an “everyday confrontation” point of view – confronting employees, employers, someone who has affronted you etc.
I have read that even many young babies are afraid of anger and shouting. Certain behaviours are hardwired into us and, where there is a genuine threat to our survival, the “fight or flight” response will kick in.
I actually believe there are no absolutes – there always tends to be some exceptions. There are people who seem to relish, rather than fear, everyday confrontation. I read it as though plus1g was referring to those sorts of scenarios.
It's when we fear and therefore avoid any sort of confrontation (where there is no threat to survival) that it can cause issues. I also believe that, once the emotions are neutralised and the beliefs are eliminated, what used to be seen as a “scary confrontation” is actually held more as an “exchange of views.”
There's nothing inherently scary about a boss or employee shouting at us. The fear, I'd contend, is from the meaning we give it (a threat to survival).
I honestly think that, using PSTEC and some other tools out there, it's possible not to feel any fear (or any emotion that's hardwired into us) in certain situations. However, I personally wouldn't see the value in that, as feeling no fear at all when there's a genuine threat to your survival might not lead to the best outcome. Moreover, if you didn't wish to experience any sort of grief when a loved one dies, you're removing a process that helps define our humanity. That's just my opinion, however.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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