Reply To: Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC
Brian TuckerThe last 48 hours for me have been a major shift in various feelings I have been clearing over the last week.
It feels like there is an emotional taffy pulling machine inside me. The thoughts and feelings just churn around all through my body as if everything is just reshuffling itself.
I have had this several times along the way but never to this level. It would appear that the “not good enough” feelings are really taking time to rewire and shift out.
The swarming and ever-changing cocktail of feelings became so strong last night I was in bed awake for 7 hours just letting it all pass. On a scale of 1-10 they were at an overwhelming 11 each one at times.
I would not consider this painful or scary because I know what is going on and just allow whatever is happening within, not fight it but instead allow it and go with it. I know that none of this is real and that I am safe, I am just laying in my bed with my two cats hehe.
It's as if my programs and egos are hanging on for one last hurrah before their death. It feels like that part of my ego is dying as my true self shines past my negative programmed feelings.
Last night was the peak and today I am still emotionally swirling and churning. I did listen to a relaxing accelerator this morning to see if it would calm it and it did a bit.
I also programmed in my first affOrmation last night “Why am I good enough?” and it really felt good when it was in there. I can see where these new thoughts and feelings are kicking in as the old goes out. It's almost as if I am in a giant tipping point that is teeter tottering across all areas of my life from these “not good enough” feelings and experiences and it is taking a few days for it to tip all the way permanently.
I did not clicktrack yesterday and do not plan to do so again until this all settles down. More to come.
Ironically, I have listened to two interview recordings – one is with a guy named Gary http://pstecaudiosource.org/3918/gary about ADHD and I have realized I have the same situations that he had
and also the recordings with Will http://pstecaudiosource.org/468/pstec-interview-wil which talk about the clearing and taking the time off and wow what an excellent recording. I see the same things in the clearing and how intense it is at times. He talks about “taking out a big splinter” haha that is so true and a great way to describe it as it can be rather intense at times but I do know that after this passes I am clear and take a huge leap forward!