Reply To: Fear of confrontation – Help needed – My Journey with PSTEC
Brian TuckerBack again – Took some time off to let things all shake out and then did a little clicktracking for a few days.
I am really starting to see things big picture as to what has been going on in my life.
As I mentioned before, I had already cleared a lot of things going on in my intimate and personal relationships that were associated with my subconscious seeking a match to my stepmother and father.
Then I uncovered “not god enough” going on which I have really went after and for the most part don't feel much of it anymore.
Last week, I was working on a feeling and it took me back all the way to the 3rd grade of an experience that I would never have considered but it is certainly the experience that created the belief around “I am a fraud” and so I now see this pattern woven through my entire life with the “I'm not good enough”.
So I had a few more clicktrack sessions and had some other feelings and realized that these are around needing to do things quickly and everything perfectly, because it seems that I have some sort of compensating belief that if I do things perfectly I will be loved/accepted/approved by others. So of course this also feeds into the procrastination issues I was having due to fear of not being perfect and then being rejected for not being so. Then I feel like I am not good enough and/or a fraud.
So if you take a bigger look at this you can see the infinite loop in my model of reality that would nearly drive a person insane.
Not good enough/i am a fraud —> Perfection to be accepted, loved, approved —> rejection —> Not good enough/i am a fraud With some procrastination all mixed in there.
On top of that I have also come to the realization that I have some serious habitual anger problems. So much so it was normal for me and I could not see it. I have been using the anger loop and no more anger tracks and yesterday I had an epiphany using these of which I posted here: http://pstecforum.com/pf/tell-us-about-your-pstec-story/anger-packages/msg3452/?topicseen#new and the results I am seeing are immediate and phenomenal both in myself and others I interact with, especially family members.
I have since started using the procrastination thought loop in the similar way to remove situations where I become procrastinated due to this need to be perfect and then fear of not being perfect and being rejected. So far I am seeing some progress.
I have also tested using affOrmations with PSTEC Positive/ Extra Positive and Accelerators (as Sally Baker had recommended) and had some wonderful results.
http://pstecforum.com/pf/questions-on-pstec-products/using-pstec-positive-with-afformations/
Finally, I picked up the Think and Grow Rich series and have started using the creative thought loop and the hypno persistence tracks already. I will provide more of an update as I get going with this package in another thread but I wanted to incorporate those tracks into my routine and I can say they are wonderful.