Reply To: Belief Phrase Variations
From what I have learned and personally experienced, you can form numerous beliefs and conditionings from the same type of events. Once we form the beliefs, they then form part of our perceptual filters – “I'll see it when I believe it.” I'd add “I'll feel it when it's conditioned” to that description.
What's important in our everyday interactions is always our intention, I believe, and even though we may not say the “right thing”, our kids will *usually* pick up the intention. That's what I believe anyway, but I do encounter issues with my own kids where I say or do something, and they've misinterpreted it.
Ultimately, events happen (or we do/say things) and we have no active control with how they are interpreted. The best we can do is explain what our intentions were; what I love about PSTEC is that it gives us an amazing tool to change the interpretation and take the “charge” out of the memory.
I'm using PSTEC on myself slightly differently than “prescribed” in some cases, and I'll share more about that soon..It's not a case of me ignoring the instructions or trying to reinvent the wheel, but using it for a different purpose.
With regard to the sort of beliefs you have identified, plus1g, Peter's advice to go back and really study the experiences that led to the formation of the belief. Try to see it through the eyes or feel it from the perspective of the child you were when you formed the beliefs.
Be your own detective.
There's a great technique to help “prime the pump” in a logical fashion. You can do this by asking the following questions:
Who? What? When? Where?
This can be done for each and every belief.
For example, if you're countering the belief “I'm lazy”, the questions could help you come up with these alternatives:
– (Who?) “My dad said I was lazy, but he was wrong.” or “My dad joked that I was lazy, but he was just trying to motivate me. Someone joking doesn't mean that's what they believe.”
– (What?) “Maybe Dad thought I was lazy when I didn't work as hard as he wanted, but he just had unrealistic expectations.”
– (When?) “Maybe I was lazy when I was a child, but that doesn't mean I'd always be lazy or that I'm a lazy person.”
– (Where?) “Maybe I was lazy at home, but that was because I wasn't motivated there or at that time, or by those sort of comments.”
Each interpretation will enable you to see that “I'm lazy” is just something you made up and attached to your dad's comments and the subsequent feelings that arose from those.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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