Reply To: Negative patterns being played out, how do I use PSTEC?
Peter BunyanHi Jess
Next thing! Think about what circumstances bring about that feeling of shame, recall as much as you can and Click Track it while feeling that shame.
You do not need to know what original events caused the pattern of behaviour in order to change it. It is a habit driven by your subconscious. Do not try to lose that habit but replace it with more positive habits. Domestic chores are best done to a regular schedule, same time of day, same days of the week. Write it down!. Smaller more manageaable chunks that will become a routine that keep at it for a while will eventually become automatic.
The “home” situation you describe suggests loss of hope, depression, but more likely loss of self esteem/worth. A poor childhood would create plenty of opportunities for losing self esteem/worth. You might have requested your parents buy something for you that other kids around had, they might have replied angrily “What do you think we are, made of money?” “Do you think money grows on trees?” If the other kids taunted you about it or about the clothes you wore or something that pointed out your relative poverty, these things although not serious individually build up in a drip, drip fashion and change the way you feel about yourself into a negative habit.
When did you first realise you had a repeating behavior pattern? Can you remember the first time? What sorts of things do you say to yourself when the situation at home is getting worse/being ignored? What sorts of things do you say to yourself when you have realised and getting things tidied up again? Is there some type or pattern of stress (Money worries? Struggling to pay bills?) that sets off/triggers the negative pattern?
Please let us know how you get on with the Click Tracking and Negative, and if you have anymore questions… ask away.
Peter