Reply To: Feelings and Beliefs about myself
Peter BunyanHi bj
Personally I do not think I have ever looked “good”. There is so much “pressure” on all of us to to look like film stars because advertisers with big budgets use all the pyschological trickery they can to persuade us to buy stuff that they suggest will make us attractive and famous etc. Here in the UK we can watch the BBC without any of the adverts and long may it last. So don't watch the box, don't buy newspapers and magazines, particularly fashion and stuff featuring celebs, (long ago I use to work for Vogue), ignore the internet ads and what more can you do? Well….
PSTEC can help! Recently I went to a photo shoot at the local Holistic Health Centre where I hire a room sometimes for “seeing” clients in person or online. The idea was to get some pics for advertising and profile shots for all the therapists that use the centre. Although the shoot was my suggestion I felt uneasy about this since I was silly enough to suggest it. As a photographer myself I have always been happier behind the camera rather than in front. As I said earlier I have never felt myself the most handsome of men, so I “clicked it”. I imagined a scenario where all the shots made me look as bad as I felt and Click Tracked it. I imagined my fear of being in front of the camera at a shoot, and Click Tracked it. I used Positive with statements to the effect that I would be calm and happy at the shoot. The results you can see in my profile photo on this forum. While I was never entirely happy at being in front of the camera I was not stressed about it and remained at least relaxed. Hey, that shot even looks like the real me, for better or worse, I feel honest about it enough to show to the world.
The big question is how do you feel when you look in the mirror? What are you afraid of? That others will taunt you or worse laugh at you. That you might not get a job or be able to attract a partner because you do not look like a film star… what ever it is the beliefs originated from feelings. If you can recall any event where others, your parents even, called you plain or worse, Click Track it. Your contempories at school even your best friends may unwittingly have said things to you, which although hurtful at the time you may have hid your feelings from them. These sorts of things may have built up over time into negative beliefs. If you can recall any Click Track them. IMO nobody ever felt ugly until someone told them they were.
Others have suggested on this forum to use a mirror in front of you, look at yourself before Click Tracking and during, opening and closing your eyes at intervals and feeling that unhappiness about your looks. It has to be worth a try!
Re Negative, yes, open and close your eyes all through the track and really imagine scrambling and destroying that statement, you really hate that statement so you can be as creative and thorough about it as you like. IMO Negative works best on those statements are things you say to yourself all the time, listen to those things and “watch” for anything negative, especially when you know you have repeated them or similar many times over a long period of time. Where they have become “habits of thought”.
Despite social pressure, it is not conventional good looks which attract friends and potential partners, all sorts of people “hook up” with all sort of people to form friendships and relationships, not caring about “looks”, a smile and loving and caring about others is what creates the bonds which tie us humans together. So back to that mirror, practice smiling! You will feel better for it!
Gosh, and so much more to say, but I will leave it there for now. Please reply…
Peter