Feelings and Beliefs about myself

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  • #21867
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Hey There!

    For the longest time I have felt ugly/not good enough etc. about my appearance and Ive decided i don't want to think and feel that way about myself when i look in the mirror. I want to see and think of myself as attractive/handsome etc. How would I go about doing this? I have PN,PP, and the 2015 click tracks. Also all the previous stuff too.

    So far…Ive click tracked my emotions when I imagine looking in the mirror. I haven't noticed much of shift in feelings/thinking after even though I TRIED to feel the emotions when looking at myself.(also am I right in just picturing my face and body during the tracks?) Do I just have to keep clicking and if I successfully get the feelings down to a 1 or 0, will I like what I see when I look at myself?

    I'm not sure because I realized I have these beliefs “I am ugly/I am not good enough.” just from looking in the mirror. So I was able to bring some emotions down about my appearance but I still think those beliefs and I start to get disappointed/frustrated with myself again. I decided to give PN a run thinking maybe that will do the trick which brings me to my next issue…

    I ran PN and felt a little anxiety while it played, so I guess I didn't clear all the emotions well enough first. Also, it could be my primer statements. I realized when I stated them out loud…I consciously knew they were true but didn't feel good/confident when I said them. Does that mean I still need some click tracking to do? Or maybe the statements weren't good enough? Any good Primer statements to counter “It is my belief that I am ugly/I am not good enough.”? Lastly, I will read the PN instructions again, maybe I'm doing it wrong. (quick question: are you supposed to close and open your eyes throughout the whole track or just when he says it in the audio?)

    This has been a pretty hard issue for me to tackle. The belief has been causing the emotions so while I get some relief from the tracks I go and look in the mirror to test it  and I'm right back to square one. And even though I feel a little less bad when doing the tracks I still think I'm ugly/not good enough etc. after I'm done then the feelings come back.

    So after I get all that done right and its time to use PP, what would be some good statements? I realize its best to soften the statements as much as possible at first to be accepted by the subconscious. Ive read PP secrets and crafting a statement seems kind of hard, especially utilizing a trigger for this issue. How would I do that?

    Sorry for the long post. Ive used PSTEC successfully for some issues(feelings about situations/memories etc.) But trying to clear emotions based off of beliefs/behaviors and then change those negative beliefs/behaviors has got me stumped.
    Thanks for the help!!!

    #24959
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi bj

    Personally I do not think I have ever looked “good”. There is so much “pressure” on all of us to to look like film stars because advertisers with big budgets use all the pyschological trickery they can to persuade us to buy stuff that they suggest will make us attractive and famous etc. Here in the UK we can watch the BBC without any of the adverts and long may it last. So don't watch the box, don't buy newspapers and magazines, particularly fashion and stuff featuring celebs, (long ago I use to work for Vogue), ignore the internet ads and what more can you do? Well….

    PSTEC can help! Recently I went to a photo shoot at the local Holistic Health Centre where I hire a room sometimes for “seeing” clients in person or online. The idea was to get some pics for advertising and profile shots for all the therapists that use the centre. Although the shoot was my suggestion I felt uneasy about this since I was silly enough to suggest it. As a photographer myself I have always been happier behind the camera rather than in front. As I said earlier I have never felt myself the most handsome of men, so I “clicked it”. I imagined a scenario where all the shots made me look as bad as I felt and Click Tracked it. I imagined my fear of being in front of the camera at a shoot, and Click Tracked it. I used Positive with statements to the effect that I would be calm and happy at the shoot. The results you can see in my profile photo on this forum. While I was never entirely happy at being in front of the camera I was not stressed about it and remained at least relaxed. Hey, that shot even looks like the real me, for better or worse, I feel honest about it enough to show to the world.

    The big question is how do you feel when you look in the mirror? What are you afraid of? That others will taunt you or worse laugh at you. That you might not get a job or be able to attract a partner because you do not look like a film star… what ever it is the beliefs originated from feelings. If you can recall any event where others, your parents even, called you plain or worse, Click Track it. Your contempories at school even your best friends may  unwittingly have said things to you, which although hurtful at the time you may have hid your feelings from them. These sorts of things may have  built up over time  into negative beliefs. If you can recall any Click Track them. IMO nobody ever felt ugly until someone told them they were.

    Others have suggested on this forum to use a mirror in front of you, look at yourself before Click Tracking and during, opening and closing your eyes at intervals and feeling that unhappiness about your looks. It has to be worth a try!

    Re Negative, yes, open and close your eyes all through the track and really imagine scrambling and destroying that statement, you really hate that statement so you can be as creative and thorough about it as you like. IMO Negative works best on those statements are things you say to yourself all the time, listen to those things and “watch” for anything negative, especially when you know you have repeated them or similar many times over a long period of time. Where  they have become “habits of thought”.

    Despite social pressure, it is not conventional good looks which attract friends and potential partners, all sorts of people “hook up” with all sort of people to form friendships and relationships, not caring about “looks”, a smile and loving and caring about others is what creates the bonds which tie us humans together. So back to that mirror, practice smiling! You will feel better for it!

    Gosh, and so much more to say, but I will leave it there for now. Please reply…

    Peter

    #24960
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Hi Peter,

    Thanks for the help! Fortunately, I cant recall ever being called ugly so I started to really think about why i feel so down about myself and my appearance. I realized I feel bad because of some imagined scenarios where I think it would hold me back, so thanks for pointing that out and Ill be sure to click track those scenarios.

    Another question…Ive looked in the mirror before and tried to hold that image of myself in my mind and tried clicking those negative feelings away with little no success. Am I doing something wrong? I'm guessing its not as simple as clicking away the ugly feelings when I see myself and using PP to install a positive perception of my appearance? Also, lets say I successfully release the negative feelings in the scenarios where I feel I'm being held back/not good enough because of my appearance, would that do the trick and lead me to accept and like myself and what I see?

    Again, thanks for the help Peter and great profile photo btw!!!

    #24961
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    bj

    Mostly when young we are not concerned much about our looks until puberty then all of a sudden it moves up the personal priority list. At this time we are particularly vulnerable to peer group pressures and sensitive to comments that affect our self confidence. So I would look at the 11-16 age range for issues concerning appearance.

    I'm not sure about the mirror thing, there are so many possible reasons for it to not work for you, but…. what thoughts werre going through your mind while Click Tracking?

    Remove the negative feelings and you should at least feel neutral when looking in the mirror. There is much more to liking yourself than your appearance. You could for example work on your posture, go to Pilates or Yoga classes, Tai Chi or other martial arts also. Good posture and self confidence work together.

    Than you for you kind comment on my profile shot.

    Peter

    #24962
    AvatarSally Baker
    PSTEC User

    Hi there I've had some interesting breakthroughs with clients using PSTEC with photographs and mirror work. Whatever helps to elicit the strong emotion. I usually work, as always to do the clearing first and then PSTEC positive when appropriate.

    #24963
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi Sally

    Please can you tell us some more about mirror and photo work. How best to work this way?

    Peter

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