Reply To: Gameplan to work on blushing issue

#25080
Paul McCabePaul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

Hi Alexander,

Thank you for getting back to me. I appreciate your kind words, and am very happy to clarify my earlier post.

With regards to the “intellectually disagreeing” comment, you are spot on. Subsconsciously we could hold a belief, while consciously believing we couldn't or shouldn't hold such a belief. It's a case of rationalising something away.

To make that more concrete, a Doctor or Harvard graduate could hypothetically hold a belief such as “I'm stupid.” Now, logically, that would make no sense. However, they would have formed such a belief in early childhood.

We could similarly hold a belief like “I'm not good enough” and come up with rationalisations about why we are good enough – perhaps it will be about accomplishments or friends, or positive appraisals from other people. However, if the belief is held on a core level, all those “proofs” will just be strategies to become “good enough.”

Those strategies might involve “becoming good enough” by “doing things perfectly”, “getting the respect of others”, “having lots of money”, “being a workaholic”, “being famous” etc. However, those will never really overcome the inherent feeling of not being good enough.

If such a belief rings true or feels uncomfortable, we will almost certainly hold it. Saying it out loud, especially when contrasted with something unaffecting like “I'm a Martian”, will also give clues about whether the belief is held.

It might prove beneficial to look at your views on blushing, in general. Considering these scenarios and completing the sentences might get you closer to the beliefs…

“Blushing is…”

“People who blush are…”

“If I blush in front of people, people will…”

How about something like  “It's scary for people to focus their attention on me”?

If that seems to ring true, then ask yourself why it is scary. I have a feeling that this will get you close to the beliefs that are causing the pattern.

I hope this helps.

Please let me know.

Paul


Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

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