Reply To: Gameplan to work on blushing issue
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Thanks for posting and updating us on your progress. It is good that you are making some progress and you are probably a LOT closer than you realise to cracking this. Keep at it. It really does pay off in the long run.
Beliefs are worth eliminating, but they are not the initial step of the PSTEC process. Tim recommends going for emotions first, and I think that is a very effective strategy. After all, emotions are what we feel – we have a conscious awareness of them too. Behaviours are what we do.
The CTs allow you to access the beliefs too, so you can work on those patterns of “feeling weak” or “not like other people” (if you have a negative sense of that) and see where that leads.
We do not always have an awareness of our beliefs, but our behaviour can allow us access to them. They give us clues, I think.
If you have certain avoidant behaviours or “driven” behaviours, beliefs and emotional conditioning will underlie them.
In your particular case, you have the behaviour (blushing) and this is probably based on certain feelings, triggered by certain events and driven by beliefs. Then you have the emotions that arise from your interpretation of your blushing.
It all sounds quite complex, but I believe that they all feed into one another. If you changed a certain behaviour, that would affect your self-concept, your emotions and (on some level) your beliefs.
Similarly, if you eliminated the belief and replaced it with an empowering belief, that would impact your mind model. There are different ways to access this.
A lot of modalities come at personal change from different angles, and using different presuppositions. It would be great if we could just consciously change all our behaviour, but that is the hardest one to do. Yet we all have some experience of how changing our behaviour “in the moment” can change our perceptions; so, if you were sitting around feeling sad, going for a walk or a jog (i.e. a change in behaviour) will likely change how you feel…for a while.
I think some people feel emotions very deeply and can describe a rich tapestry of emotions and sensations. Ultimately, we do not know whether anyone's internal wotld matches our own. Years ago, I would have not had the words to describe what I was feeling, as I suppressed a lot of emotions. It was generally not seen as a good thing to express emotions when you were a boy where I was growing up. It is not that uncommon, I hear – “big boys don't cry”, “stop feeling sorry for yourself.” Did that happen to you?
Whether it did or did not, CT can be a private process. You do not have to share, but be prepared to “visit” the memories that bothered you, the imagined outcomes that worry you… and then neutralise those emotions. This will work.
You could definitely work on the belief that “People who blush are weak.” Using counterexamples, you could assess that people blush for all sorts of reasons – joy, surprise, excitement and even due to illness. There are many more counterexamples. Going through that process would prove very useful, I imagine.
So, CT first, don't the Positive and Negative tracks once you FEEL that the unwanted emotions are as close to 0 as possible.
Please keep us updated. It helps others.
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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