Reply To: Gameplan to work on blushing issue

#25091
Paul McCabePaul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

Hi Alexander,

Thanks for your post.

You are correct: SUDs are not real-life and are, be definition, just a subjective measure of the emotion. As you are working alone and are effectively being your own therapist, they may prove useful. If not, and you find them a bit gimmicky, then you could use “the emotion is less than it was, but still not gone.”

Then, keep working at it until it is. I am very confident that you will get there. To the extent that you are your own therapist, you will likely have an intuitive sense of the best approach for you – going slow with PSTEC, or “mass attack” it.

You will have a memory of your first blushing experience and there is unquestionably a pattern to it. You already identified that. Hitting it from all angles will, I feel, prove really beneficial.

So, if you blushed 10 mins ago (for example), you could work on that at the earliest opportunity.

Have you read some of the PSTEC interviews about how some users used the tools to eliminate blushing?

You mentioned in a previous post that you “hit this wall before.” Some therapies want to spend lots of time talking about the wall,  how it got there and how to demolish it. Other therapies ask you to visualise that it's a castle, and not a wall. Other therapies suggest you walk around or climb over the wall. PSTEC is a special therapy in the sense that it enables you to take down that wall brick by brick….and put a better structure in its place.

I am not familiar with the acronyms you referenced, but will look into them further. I believe I know what you mean by “self-pity”, but that is just a judgement we put on others.  We do not know what is someone's heart, and sometimes what might appear to be “self-pity” can be the biggest cry for help.

It could be learned helplessness and some people feel generally trapped and, in that state, they may worry who or what they would be without the problem. Having a problem, while uncomfortable on one level, can paradoxically be comforting for some people. It allows some people to feel a degree of significance, connection and certainty.

I used to wonder why anyone would want to retain a problem but, from the perspective described above, it makes sense. I think everyone gets there in their own time and in their own way and, please note, what I wrote above is not in any way to blame people for their problems. I am, in general, describing subconscious processes.

However, with that in mind, eliminating/softening negative judgements of others (or at least considering other possibilities about them and their behaviour) can be very beneficial too. That's not to enforce that on you, of course, but I have found that doing this can have profoundly positive effects.

Please let us know how it goes.

Paul


Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

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