Reply To: clear the weeds and then plant the fruit trees
so listened to a lot of the free PSTEC stuff out there (is this my way of procrastinating start working on the main issues?)
Decided last night to start working on the most immediate thing on my mind – my break-up with my hot girlfriend (but nothing much else to offer, nice person regardless) a month back. The loop that has been running in my mind is how easy it is for her to get over me because the minute she left my apartment she could have gone on tinder and met another guy for drinks/dinner/more – it is so easy for her to meet another guy within minutes and not so easy for me. And she would because there is not much else in her life but to have a guy to lean on.
Anyway, after doing one round of click track I felt the endless loops stopped playing. Now I am in the 'wish I had done non-constructive xxxx or said non-constructive yyyy' mode – I will click this away tomorrow night.
What I want to do now is be able to go into the deep ingrained experience of physical abuse from my dad (disciplinarian) and school bullies -> I am quite frozen on this and there is no such immediate emotion to work on. Although I am 101% sure that it contributes 150% to my [implicit] feeling of worthlessness. In the conscious mind I think I am a great guy and a great catch.
I have started reading the posts in http://pstecforum.com/pf/feelings-ratings-suds-and-the-level-of-your/ to see how to be able to reach deeper into my sub-conscious and remove those negative emotions. And the two sticky posts from Jeff in this section of the forum.
Then ofcourse, after negative emotions are removed, move to removing negative beliefs, and then to adding positive beliefs.