Reply To: Need some help here.

#25466
AvatarBrian Tucker
PSTEC User

  “Also, could it be that there is a “chicken and egg” situation with these thoughts and drinking alcohol? For instance, you felt anxious and drank alcohol to quell the anxious thoughts and mind chatter, but now feel MORE anxious as you had no conscious memory of the night out.”

Absolutely spot on, I know I do it, but I still get carried away. I love spending time with friends. I much rather prefer maybe having a couple drinks then, heading home and getting some good food or something. I drink to shut that voice up in my mind, to dull the vibrations through my body, to feel a little more numb so I don't have to spend time with “me.” Anything past my limit is to drown out myself in a bottle or pint glass, and I am not doing that anymore. Yes, I feel 100 times worse the next day, so they both push each other into worse realms of reality. I won't be drinking in that setting again, until I can control myself. Don't get me wrong, I have had times I have gone to parties etc, and been fine. I've had a few drinks and realised its time to stop. But, I still haven't learnt my limit completely.

Is all of this mind chatter craziness from the anxiety? I don't know wether I am looking for things that have created the intrusive thoughts, or it's all just clutter from being in a heightened state of anxiety? I can't wait till the day I can feel calm and comfortable in myself. I don't feel this way all the time, and I have seen some great improvements in my life, in moments I didn't see much hope. I know WHO I want to be, I know what feels right to me and aligns with me, it's just knowing what I need to work through to get there. I feel nothing but proud when I see the people around me achieve great things, and succeed, I just feel like it would be nice if i can hit my own goals too.

Thanks again, I feel very supported at the moment.

Yes all of this mind chatter is anxiety, you probably dont even realize how intense it is yet. Had the same thing myself and yes the drinking is a chicken and egg. Once i started no more anxiety a few weeks in I had a few beers I could not believe the level of anxiety – expecialy mind chatter – the next morning.