Reply To: Masculine intent & Action taking

#25625
AvatarBrian Tucker
PSTEC User

I am having a hard time participating in group conversations, taking social iniciatives and using my masculine traits while relating to women,

Positive pstec helped me to be more shameless and caring less on what ppl think, but i don't know how to approach the decisiveness aspect of social interactions,

I.E

When i relate to women i keep things safe to avoid rocking the boat, instead of showing clear intent and radical honesty to actually get to a more intimate dimension of my interactions

Hi, Truman –

There are several ways you can approach this. Along my journey using the clicktracks I had some astounding realizations that I had some major beliefs around women. Most of these came from a few events and I was completely oblivious to them. One was as a child I was beat in a Judo match by a girl. A second was living on a block with two twin girls who used to play football with is. These girls were TOUGH! LOL. Another was being disinvited to an 8th grade party by a girl. Then a stepmother who I went round and round with for decades. These caused me to develop programming and behaviors around Women are scary/not safe/dangerous. Women are bad. Women can't be trusted. Women will reject me. Women will leave me. I hate women. etc. I am not saying these are the actual beliefs though they are the instructions and energies installed in me due to the sum of these life experiences.

These events in the grand scheme of my life were insignificant (except for stepmother) however, they created a cluster of beliefs that I could not even see. In one of my business nearly all of my clients are women. I also live with four women and have only lived with women roomates for the most part since I moved away from home and got married.

The pain that this caused in my life was something I could not even notice because it was so normal and you can see how I would be living my life subconsciously trying to protect myself 24/7. Although I could interact ok with women for the most part, once I found and cleared out all of this nonsense out OMG what a tremendous relief in day to day interactions.

Where am I going with this…Think about how you feel in these situations. Really think back to any bad experiences with women, especially childhood, as back as you can go. I would suggest to use the “why technique” as instructed on this forum and begin working your way through those experiences and feelings. Once you go in and resolve these things you will see an amazing transformation. It could be as simple as one experience (like the judo experience) that could crumble it all.

I had those “don't rock the boat” and passive/avoidance feelings. Those are absolutly fears conditionings that you have developed over the years to adapt and protect yourself from whatever happened in the past. So when you resolve the past that will go way. I would suggest you really go after those right out of the gate. Again “why technique” comes to mind.

Funny enough I see these ladies in all of these experiences around town at the store and whatnot often. Never gave a single thought to any of this haha.

NORMAL!