Reply To: Aftermath from quitting smoking
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Thanks for your update.
The explanation you gave makes perfect sense and, for many people, smoking gives a sense of comfort or spending time with a good friend. In truth, it is like spending time with a friend who trashes your house, gives you an illness and robs you of your energy.
So, lip-biting has become your substitute for that. It does not seem to be healthy for you ultimately. Did you use willpower to quit smoking or did you employ a particular modality?
You may wish to layer in some PP suggestions like “I used to smoke to reassure myself” and “When I stopped smoking, I used to bite my lips to reassure myself.” This can free some things up for you.
“I can feel reassured easily” might be a good general suggestion to layer in.
You could also layer in “When I feel excited, I….(insert new positive behaviour)” This could simply be “breathe deeply” or “smile.” PP works very well on triggered behaviours – e.g. “When (X), I (Y)”
It is definitely worth going with the CTs on anger and anxiety.
As far as PSTEC goes, I vouch for all of the tracks. PSTEC Advanced is excellent for therapists, or if you have a general interest in the mind.
For self-help, How to Achieve Almost Anything The Easy Way (http://bit.ly/howtoachieve) is superb. It's a paid track.
Mindfulness with PSTEC is free and has some great tips and suggestions – http://bit.ly/pstecmindfulness
In my experience of working with people one-to-one and also from conversing with users of PSTEC, there is always a way to make the desired changes with the PSTEC tools. As a self-helper, I think you would benefit from consistency and also varying the tracks you use.
There are some published works which reference PSTEC and I imagine that this will grow in number. What sort of guide would be helpful for you? Are there any sticking points? I am sure I could write up a guide for you.
I look forward to learning more about how you are getting on,
Very true with that analogy, It really is like that. I also had a thought today cross my mind, it made me think about the moments when you smoke a cigarette with a friend and open up or talk about things. I used to think smoking enabled myself/other people to open up more, and allowed a moment for more enriched conversations. But, in reality it was never about the cigarette, the feeling were leached into the habit, not the other way around. Cigarette can't make you feel good about yourself, its just chemicals rolled up in paper. Reflecting on that, I came to realise today I've had conversation that were just as meaningful (without cigarettes). I used the stop smoking package, i originally did will power and meditation to begin with, and then used the package afterwards. Do you think it might be worth revisiting it? I do still feel the odd cravings here and there to be honest.
I used those suggestion you pointed out in the positive tracks. I also went on to add a few more. I tried “now I am a non smoker, I feel more joy and positivity” and “I now realise I can feel calm without cigarettes” also “now I feel reassured, I can be calm and relaxed.” I don't know If they have stuck yet. But, I am going to check back in a couple days. I did them for vaping too. So “now I am a non vaper, I can feel more joy and positivity” etc.
I have got the how to achieve anything. I have studied it, but will most likely have another go at it again soon. I have downloaded mindfulness a couple days ago, and have been studying that so thank you for the recommendation, and I will continue to listen to it.
Paul if you could do something like that for me I would be honoured and very appreciative for you to do that. I just want to learn more about how to understand why people have issues, and how to go about finding out the answers. Like if somebody has an issue, its never seems to be as simple as an emotion, it seems to be complex with multiple emotions, and multiple beliefs all wrapped around the behaviour/actions. I have noticed many problems in my life, and certain behaviours seem very complex. Where do you start with that? how do you know what is relevant, because it would take a long time to get every emotion/belief thats linked to the behaviour. What questions are worth asking to get to the root of a problem?
Thanks for your time, its appreciated.