Aftermath from quitting smoking
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Daniel WynnHi guys,
I'm not sure where to start with this one. I quit smoking/vaping about 5 or so months ago. Ever since then I have picked up some nasty thought patterns and behaviours. The first one I am certain is a direct result of quitting smoking, is biting my lips. I keep on biting my lips until they bleed even, and ever since I have quit they haven't even healed up once. How do i sort this out?
The other is a lot more complicated. I don't really feel comfortable saying what exactly the thought/behaviour is on here, but I can explain the result and the feelings that surround it. I am not entirely sure It is from quitting smoking/vaping, however the thought pattern did start around that time. I have had a history of intrusive unwanted thoughts, but this one is particularly strong though. I have been trying my absolute best to try to sort it out, I have hit it from future scenarios, imagined the worst case. I feel like it may have just indirectly gotten worse. As in, me clearing all the fear from it actually happening has allowed it to grow stronger and made it even more possible to happen. There have been similar things that have happened in the past the same as this thought behaviour, and they even happened around the time i previously tried to quit (the reason i think its destructive behaviour somehow from quitting)
I know it probably doesn't help too much with me not saying exactly what the issue is, but as I said before its really confusing to me. I am having trouble with connecting to it fully, which seems to be a recurring thing with me and my emotions. It hinders me from fully associating, and as a result clearing the emotions that surround the problem. It's like a part of me hates myself, and believes I should have this issue, like I deserve it even, a part of me almost wants it even so this can all be over. And, yes, I have ran that scenario through the click track, I't hasn't stopped the behaviour. Am i looking at a belief here? What do I do?
Hope someone can help.
Thanks.Brian TuckerHave you tried thinking of that feeling and getting extremely angry at it and also CT any feelings of resentment towards it. In both cases they would be feelings at the problem and at yourself about the problem
Daniel WynnHave you tried thinking of that feeling and getting extremely angry at it and also CT any feelings of resentment towards it. In both cases they would be feelings at the problem and at yourself about the problem
Thanks Brian.
Yes tried this last night and today. To be honest I started getting really fed up today. Annoyed that the click tracks weren't shifting it away. Annoyed I wouldn't let myself fully associate, and frustrated I always make things harder than they need to be. I almost felt like giving up pstec all together but instead of doing that I held onto that (the feeling of wanting to give up) feeling the best I could and I think something might have shifted a little. I sometimes find the click tracks distracting, like I can say I feel angry now, but when I run the click tracks I can't feel it like I could, like there's too much going on and Tim's voice is just there too much, distracting me from feeling bad or associating fully. Is this normal?
I also kept biting my lips again today, I really have to stop this, it's not good. Why do I keep doing it? Any ideas? I almost think I'd rather start vaping again just to see if I can stop acting this way.
I've been using pstec for a while now. Over a year maybe closer to two, I'm not sure. I've still got loads of problems, I think that I see everything as a problem? Or I'm really uncertain or maybe afraid of changing fully. I don't want to go back to who I was before I became anxious, but then I'm not sure of who I would be otherwise. I think I find comfort that going through a list and working on problems that way (one event at a time) makes it a slower pace, thus a prolonged time until I am without my problems. I also think I'm afraid to be negative, and this also makes it harder to associate with negative emotions. I tried running that through the click tracks but it didn't shift it enough or it kept coming back, I forgotten. I also like things to be a certain way, like things can't be messy, not in the physical realm but emotionally. So when I have an event to clear, I have to have that emotion be a certain way that fits my thinking, and thus it doesn't flow freely. Anger becomes more tunnel like, rather than being what it really is. It's confusing to me.
Anyways, thanks for your time and responses.
Paul McCabeHi Clearingman,
Thanks for your post. I am sure Brian will reply and hope you are OK with me chipping in for now.
I sense that, in this particular case, smoking was your solution to a problem. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism or a way to block something out. This is not unusual.
On the Advanced track (http://bit.ly/pstecadvanced), Tim talks about “symptom substitution” and, while not mentioned in the context of smoking, there may be a parallel here. You have eliminated a coping mechanism, so have developed a new habit and, in a way, a new coping mechanism.
Questions: when did you smoke? What emotions triggered you to smoke? What emotions or circumstances are present when you are biting your lips?
Also, which modality did you use to quit smoking? Was it via the Stop Smoking package (http://bit.ly/pstecstopsmoking), hypnosis, another modality or willpower? This may be instructive.
There is more than one way to resolve issues with PSTEC so, if you feel a bit “Clicktracked out”, you may wish to try the belief route – using Belief Blasters and/or PSTEC Negative.
There will be beliefs feeding the pattern and you may well have the belief “It is dangerous to have negative thoughts” and “It is bad for things to not make sense.
I am sure you have other beliefs that can be eliminated and would make a huge difference to how you feel and behave.
Once eliminated, you could layer in some positive suggestions with PP or PP Extra Power.
So, by all means, see how you get on when you eliminate the beliefs.
Please keep us updated too and, if anything is unclear or proving challenging, let us know so that we can help you troubleshoot it. There's ALWAYS a way.
All the best,
Paul
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
Daniel WynnHi Clearingman,
Thanks for your post. I am sure Brian will reply and hope you are OK with me chipping in for now.
I sense that, in this particular case, smoking was your solution to a problem. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism or a way to block something out. This is not unusual.
On the Advanced track (http://bit.ly/pstecadvanced), Tim talks about “symptom substitution” and, while not mentioned in the context of smoking, there may be a parallel here. You have eliminated a coping mechanism, so have developed a new habit and, in a way, a new coping mechanism.
Questions: when did you smoke? What emotions triggered you to smoke? What emotions or circumstances are present when you are biting your lips?
Also, which modality did you use to quit smoking? Was it via the Stop Smoking package (http://bit.ly/pstecstopsmoking), hypnosis, another modality or willpower? This may be instructive.
There is more than one way to resolve issues with PSTEC so, if you feel a bit “Clicktracked out”, you may wish to try the belief route – using Belief Blasters and/or PSTEC Negative.
There will be beliefs feeding the pattern and you may well have the belief “It is dangerous to have negative thoughts” and “It is bad for things to not make sense.
I am sure you have other beliefs that can be eliminated and would make a huge difference to how you feel and behave.
Once eliminated, you could layer in some positive suggestions with PP or PP Extra Power.
So, by all means, see how you get on when you eliminate the beliefs.
Please keep us updated too and, if anything is unclear or proving challenging, let us know so that we can help you troubleshoot it. There's ALWAYS a way.
All the best,
Paul
Hi Paul,
Thanks for taking the time to respond. I have been thinking over what you have said the last few days and have noticed a few things. I actually had been vaping for around 2-3 years after I stopped smoking, so I'm going to go with that (although I know both habits are pretty much the same on a habitual level). I would vape all the time to be honest, in the car, at work, after meals times. Thinking about the lip biting and the other thing, its destructive, like I want to damage myself (I think). It's also a feeling of lack of control, I noticed myself biting my lips today and felt irritated and an inability to control my frustration led me to bite my lips. I think these are the same feelings I had when I quit smoking the many other times. I used the stop smoking, and some meditation. Another thing that popped into my mind yesterday (that i am wiser about now). I used pstec positive a lot around the time of quitting to help me accept change, at the time I had a lot of intrusive thoughts (some of which tie into the issues I am having now). I then went onto get positive secrets, and realised listening (or somewhere else, I cant remember) that its not wise to use positive with intrusive thoughts. I'm concerned, have I messed with my thinking? made things worse? If so how do I heal that? I now read out a loud while opening/closing my eyes and counting to 5, so I'ts not a problem to use pstec positive anymore. I know this is going to sound silly, considering the circumstances. Technically I am dealing with intrusive thought/thoughts in the issues I am talking about right here. But, really they have cooled down a lot more then what they used to be. I am hoping I can use pstec positive more soon without worrying about it.
How do you deal with the complexities of issues paul? I am really fed up of going round in circles of feeling better about myself to then finding myself in another heap of crap. Whats the method of finding out the cause of my problems? I have really tried picking this to pieces, when I think I have found the cause of this problem I go and clicktrack it out and think its gone, to then find myself back into it again with the same or another feeling/belief/problem, what ever it is. As i said before, everything just has to be so hard with me. I wish things were more simple, so I could begin feeling better about myself now, i really don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to be in this position in a year, 6 months, or a month even. I'm not saying I want everything to switch up, and have everything fall into my lap now. I just want relief so I can feel naturally happy about myself, and those around me now.
Thanks for your help.
Paul McCabeHi Clearingman,
Thanks very much for your post.
I appreciate your honesty, so let's deal with this systematically.
When you notice the frustration and notice that you are biting your, have you done any “clicktracking in the moment”? With the Click Tracks, you only have to try to feel the unwanted emotion while focusing on the problem/memory. When you actually do feel the emotion “in the moment”, running the Click Tracks then (or as close as possible to when you have the feeling) can be highly effective.
I appreciate that this is not always feasible, so you may wish to tap discretely and try to remember the CT tapping sequence. It is, in effect, a pattern interrupt.
When you get a chance to run the CT, you may wish to clear:
– frustration with yourself and the habits
– the “lack of control” feelings
– the feeling that it will never get any better
Remember that, with PSTEC, it all changes when you reach the tipping-point and your work so far will not have been in vain.
You possibly have some beliefs feeding into the pattern, or certainly contributing to your emotional experience.
You may believe “Change has to be hard” or simply “Change is hard.”
Think about that for a moment. Can you see how such a belief would create certain expectations and ways of being?
This is a common belief and often stops people from making changes or giving up when the going gets tough or progress seems to dip.
Isn't it as equally valid to say “some changes may seem hard, but not all changes” or “change can be hard, if you have not resolved the emotional components that help generate the behaviour” or “change can be hard, if you have beliefs about yourself and changing”?
You also mentioned things were difficult, so you may hold supporting beliefs like “life is difficult” and “nothing is simple.” Perhaps you also hold “I will never resolve this.” Check in with these.
If you have any beliefs ike those cited above, I highly recommend using Belief Blasters or PSTEC Negative to eliminate them.
With regards to PSTEC Positive, you surely won't have done yourself any harm. You are simply layering in positive suggestions and, while it is recommended that you compose these in such a way that they are plausible and compelling, other thoughts do not usually get in the way.
To flesh that out a bit, in a crisis situation (e.g. hostage negotiations, medical emergency) it is common for the person in the crisis to have all sorts of thoughts, concerns and outcomes flashing through their mind. In these situations, trained staff will often suggest basic behavioural and cognitive tasks (e.g. “Just breathe deeply”, “Everything is going to be OK”, “Just think about your friends and family” etc.)
In this example, the compounding of suggestions overrides the intrusive thoughts and often results in behavioural changes. You can do the same with PSTEC. Although it is advised that you clear the unwanted emotions first, a positive (or negative…but that is not the scope here) suggestion of change can still be accepted in ANY emotional state.
The PSTEC Positive will surely have done no harm at all, as I assume the suggestions you chose were well-intentioned and in keeping with Tim's instructions. At worst, they may require some repetition to really tip the balance. You can also layer in supporting suggestions. For some people or particular issues, one suggestion is enough. For others, repetition is key.
I hope that helps, Clearingman. Please keep us updated.
All the best,
Paul
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
Daniel WynnHi Clearingman,
Thanks very much for your post.
I appreciate your honesty, so let's deal with this systematically.
When you notice the frustration and notice that you are biting your, have you done any “clicktracking in the moment”? With the Click Tracks, you only have to try to feel the unwanted emotion while focusing on the problem/memory. When you actually do feel the emotion “in the moment”, running the Click Tracks then (or as close as possible to when you have the feeling) can be highly effective.
I appreciate that this is not always feasible, so you may wish to tap discretely and try to remember the CT tapping sequence. It is, in effect, a pattern interrupt.
When you get a chance to run the CT, you may wish to clear:
– frustration with yourself and the habits
– the “lack of control” feelings
– the feeling that it will never get any better
Remember that, with PSTEC, it all changes when you reach the tipping-point and your work so far will not have been in vain.
You possibly have some beliefs feeding into the pattern, or certainly contributing to your emotional experience.
You may believe “Change has to be hard” or simply “Change is hard.”
Think about that for a moment. Can you see how such a belief would create certain expectations and ways of being?
This is a common belief and often stops people from making changes or giving up when the going gets tough or progress seems to dip.
Isn't it as equally valid to say “some changes may seem hard, but not all changes” or “change can be hard, if you have not resolved the emotional components that help generate the behaviour” or “change can be hard, if you have beliefs about yourself and changing”?
You also mentioned things were difficult, so you may hold supporting beliefs like “life is difficult” and “nothing is simple.” Perhaps you also hold “I will never resolve this.” Check in with these.
If you have any beliefs ike those cited above, I highly recommend using Belief Blasters or PSTEC Negative to eliminate them.
With regards to PSTEC Positive, you surely won't have done yourself any harm. You are simply layering in positive suggestions and, while it is recommended that you compose these in such a way that they are plausible and compelling, other thoughts do not usually get in the way.
To flesh that out a bit, in a crisis situation (e.g. hostage negotiations, medical emergency) it is common for the person in the crisis to have all sorts of thoughts, concerns and outcomes flashing through their mind. In these situations, trained staff will often suggest basic behavioural and cognitive tasks (e.g. “Just breathe deeply”, “Everything is going to be OK”, “Just think about your friends and family” etc.)
In this example, the compounding of suggestions overrides the intrusive thoughts and often results in behavioural changes. You can do the same with PSTEC. Although it is advised that you clear the unwanted emotions first, a positive (or negative…but that is not the scope here) suggestion of change can still be accepted in ANY emotional state.
The PSTEC Positive will surely have done no harm at all, as I assume the suggestions you chose were well-intentioned and in keeping with Tim's instructions. At worst, they may require some repetition to really tip the balance. You can also layer in supporting suggestions. For some people or particular issues, one suggestion is enough. For others, repetition is key.
I hope that helps, Clearingman. Please keep us updated.
All the best,
Paul
Hi Paul,
Sorry its a late reply. Been meaning to get back to you but have been working on all the information you have pointed out, and also been a bit busy with life in general. So, I have ran all the negative beliefs you pointed out to me through the belief blasters, I have also worked on others too. I have also been using positive even more now. I have made it a bit of a routine to install 5 positive beliefs a day for the last 4-5 days. Thinking of continuing that for a couple weeks.
I got really angry with the lack of control, the feelings of not getting anywhere, and the anger and frustration towards the habits. I realised a LOT. I thought I was destructive when biting my lips, but It wasn't. Looking back i think it's a destructive habit to have. But in the moment, its actually the opposite. I would get a feeling of comradery, or a sense of unison through smoking. Like “hey, I'm your pal if you need a ciggy” and with that comes excitement, like a cigarette was something to share with someone or look forward to. So, when I bite my lips I've noticed its actually in times when I'm feeling good about things or excited about something, where obviously i would have smoked, I bite my lips instead now. I think a lot of the anger has been released about it, so I'm seeing it in a different light for what's actually happening. I still need to clear it out more, as I still find the habit annoying. But, how do I clear whats there now, I obviously don't want to remove or hinder good moments. So how do i detach the habit from the good feelings?
Also, I want to be more successful with pstec in general. I was considering getting the advanced audio package. Would that be worth getting? I just want to learn more about methods to do things or work things out. There aren't many books or anything that link into pstec (that I know of). So do you think it would be worth getting the advanced audio? or possibly any other packages? or is there anything else you could recommend doing to make the workflow more effective?
thanks for all your help paul, it really is appreciated.
Paul McCabeHi Clearingman,
Thanks for your update.
The explanation you gave makes perfect sense and, for many people, smoking gives a sense of comfort or spending time with a good friend. In truth, it is like spending time with a friend who trashes your house, gives you an illness and robs you of your energy.
So, lip-biting has become your substitute for that. It does not seem to be healthy for you ultimately. Did you use willpower to quit smoking or did you employ a particular modality?
You may wish to layer in some PP suggestions like “I used to smoke to reassure myself” and “When I stopped smoking, I used to bite my lips to reassure myself.” This can free some things up for you.
“I can feel reassured easily” might be a good general suggestion to layer in.
You could also layer in “When I feel excited, I….(insert new positive behaviour)” This could simply be “breathe deeply” or “smile.” PP works very well on triggered behaviours – e.g. “When (X), I (Y)”
It is definitely worth going with the CTs on anger and anxiety.
As far as PSTEC goes, I vouch for all of the tracks. PSTEC Advanced is excellent for therapists, or if you have a general interest in the mind.
For self-help, How to Achieve Almost Anything The Easy Way (http://bit.ly/howtoachieve) is superb. It's a paid track.
Mindfulness with PSTEC is free and has some great tips and suggestions – http://bit.ly/pstecmindfulness
In my experience of working with people one-to-one and also from conversing with users of PSTEC, there is always a way to make the desired changes with the PSTEC tools. As a self-helper, I think you would benefit from consistency and also varying the tracks you use.
There are some published works which reference PSTEC and I imagine that this will grow in number. What sort of guide would be helpful for you? Are there any sticking points? I am sure I could write up a guide for you.
I look forward to learning more about how you are getting on,
Paul
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
http://www.lifestyleforchange.com
Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.
Recreate yourself with PSTEC.
Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…
Brian TuckerSome other suggestions:
I can finally stop biting my lip now and forever
I can forget about whatever caused me to bite my lip
Biting my lip is now completely unimportant to me
I can stop that now
I'm done with that
From now on I will feel calm and relaxed without biting my lip
I'm happy my lip biting stopped for goodDaniel WynnHi Clearingman,
Thanks for your update.
The explanation you gave makes perfect sense and, for many people, smoking gives a sense of comfort or spending time with a good friend. In truth, it is like spending time with a friend who trashes your house, gives you an illness and robs you of your energy.
So, lip-biting has become your substitute for that. It does not seem to be healthy for you ultimately. Did you use willpower to quit smoking or did you employ a particular modality?
You may wish to layer in some PP suggestions like “I used to smoke to reassure myself” and “When I stopped smoking, I used to bite my lips to reassure myself.” This can free some things up for you.
“I can feel reassured easily” might be a good general suggestion to layer in.
You could also layer in “When I feel excited, I….(insert new positive behaviour)” This could simply be “breathe deeply” or “smile.” PP works very well on triggered behaviours – e.g. “When (X), I (Y)”
It is definitely worth going with the CTs on anger and anxiety.
As far as PSTEC goes, I vouch for all of the tracks. PSTEC Advanced is excellent for therapists, or if you have a general interest in the mind.
For self-help, How to Achieve Almost Anything The Easy Way (http://bit.ly/howtoachieve) is superb. It's a paid track.
Mindfulness with PSTEC is free and has some great tips and suggestions – http://bit.ly/pstecmindfulness
In my experience of working with people one-to-one and also from conversing with users of PSTEC, there is always a way to make the desired changes with the PSTEC tools. As a self-helper, I think you would benefit from consistency and also varying the tracks you use.
There are some published works which reference PSTEC and I imagine that this will grow in number. What sort of guide would be helpful for you? Are there any sticking points? I am sure I could write up a guide for you.
I look forward to learning more about how you are getting on,
Paul
Hi Paul
Very true with that analogy, It really is like that. I also had a thought today cross my mind, it made me think about the moments when you smoke a cigarette with a friend and open up or talk about things. I used to think smoking enabled myself/other people to open up more, and allowed a moment for more enriched conversations. But, in reality it was never about the cigarette, the feeling were leached into the habit, not the other way around. Cigarette can't make you feel good about yourself, its just chemicals rolled up in paper. Reflecting on that, I came to realise today I've had conversation that were just as meaningful (without cigarettes). I used the stop smoking package, i originally did will power and meditation to begin with, and then used the package afterwards. Do you think it might be worth revisiting it? I do still feel the odd cravings here and there to be honest.
I used those suggestion you pointed out in the positive tracks. I also went on to add a few more. I tried “now I am a non smoker, I feel more joy and positivity” and “I now realise I can feel calm without cigarettes” also “now I feel reassured, I can be calm and relaxed.” I don't know If they have stuck yet. But, I am going to check back in a couple days. I did them for vaping too. So “now I am a non vaper, I can feel more joy and positivity” etc.
I have got the how to achieve anything. I have studied it, but will most likely have another go at it again soon. I have downloaded mindfulness a couple days ago, and have been studying that so thank you for the recommendation, and I will continue to listen to it.
Paul if you could do something like that for me I would be honoured and very appreciative for you to do that. I just want to learn more about how to understand why people have issues, and how to go about finding out the answers. Like if somebody has an issue, its never seems to be as simple as an emotion, it seems to be complex with multiple emotions, and multiple beliefs all wrapped around the behaviour/actions. I have noticed many problems in my life, and certain behaviours seem very complex. Where do you start with that? how do you know what is relevant, because it would take a long time to get every emotion/belief thats linked to the behaviour. What questions are worth asking to get to the root of a problem?
Thanks for your time, its appreciated.
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