Reply To: Spider phobia
Hi Paul and Brian,
I am making excellent progress. Here is my latest update from day 30 through 35. Quick summary: Video (0-2), Wrapper (0-3), Pet store live tarantulas (0). For those interested you can see the process unfold in detail:
I continued CT 2015 long 1 & 2 of youtube video of tarantulas. The main video I worked with was:
“WATERING my TARANTULAS (Part 3) !!!” Start 0, CT’d to 0.
Next I CT’d a bunch of random videos all around 0-1.
Next I found this on the same channel: “FEEDING my HUNGRY TARANTULAS !!!”
This has close ups of big tarantulas eating and squishing crickets. Pretty gross. Start 0. I CT’d several times to 0-2.
CT Wrapper + Video (0-3)
Since the videos weren’t getting big response I decided to move on to the wrapper. My objective was to connect the totality of the phobia i.e a list of every thought, emotion, memory, imagined, live, and finally subconscious fears. Following the CT 2015 instructions I made a written inventory from my listed categories. Next I did the wrapper audio flashing every association on my list. Then I did CT Long 1 after the wrapper. First I ran through the inventory eyes closed. After several minutes, I watched the feeding video as I simultaneously flashed the entire inventory I could muster in my mind. My goal was to think of every negative image, thought, feeling from every aspect from the list. Since I wasn’t getting reaction from the video I became aware that my mind began creating brand new bizarre strange surreal negative associations. It seemed my mind even began moving into aspects from my life of things that were good and attempting to create new phobic thoughts of things unrelated. This seemed to be an attempt to find some way to keep the phobia alive. Start 1-3 End 1-2.
Pet Store Live (0)
Today I went to a pet store. I did the wrapper before going in. There was a wall of six tarantulas that were so tiny they were almost cute. Since the tarantulas in the videos were so big and aggressive this was really anticlimactic. I CT’d looking very close up of 6 tarantulas in cages and scorpions and centipedes. I was nearly a 0 the whole time. Towards the end I stared right close as the tarantula rubbing its legs or pincers together as I worked really hard to feel the phobia by generating strange associations through the wrapper. I got up to a 2. But mostly I was just 0, which I found amazing.
The program is working great! In my next post I will create an overview of my next steps followed by some questions.
Thank you both!