Reply To: Trying the new PSTEC tools
Today used the wrapper and clicktrack on the fear/blocked feelings from last night. It was kind of difficult since it's not as obvious as other feelings so was hard to connect with.
After it I did a belief blaster on “It wasn't safe for me to talk to girls”. Then positive quantum on “It is completely safe for me to talk to girls.”
I can't really say what I noticed by the end. I did go out after that, but felt even more blocked. I'm thinking it's the integration again, as before I felt worse after the belief stuff, then last night the first belief seemed to have kicked in.
I had more anger come up. Around not being able to get the girls I want, around me not taking the action I want to of talking to them because of fear, and in general more anger around girls.
When I got home I wrapped and clicktracked on that. And it got MUCH more intense than yesterday, rage and hate come out and I was even making sounds and kind of growling, my jaw clenched tightly, some dark thoughts come up with the hate and rage but I just allowed that to happen. It's weird I can't usually access this anger and was surprised at the intensity of it. Also alot of anger around my parents, my mum especially around making me dependent.
Don't really know what different there is after it, it wasn't obvious like yesterday. But seeing the sheer intensity of it, it can only be positive dealing with that.
After it I had a weird thought, logically it doesn't make sense but it may be from what i'm experiencing. It's possible that for me, somehow this anger, rage and hate is actually more of an issue than fear around girls.
Seeing it come up so intensely, and what i'm calling 'fear' is just this blocked feeling that I couldn't connect with that well.