Reply To: Dealing with Oppositions
Thanks for your post.
You have taken an interesting approach there, and I am glad that is working for you.
The “should” and “had to be…” frames seem to produce interesting shifts. They tend to be an offshoot of the type of beliefs Brian referenced. In other words, you perhaps believe you “should” because you are not, or because people would not accept you if you were not “on”, funny, confident, dazzling etc.
You also have to give meaning to the particular trait you believe you lack.
For instance, if you believe “I'm not funny” and feel a negative charge around that, then you value “being funny.” These sort of concepts can come from the culture, literature, family or the media.
It is possibly also linked to a broader pattern of needing to get the approval of others, or just a general perfectionism and needing to be “all things to all people.”
What would happen if you thought people found you boring, unconfident, unfunny etc.? You can really tap into this.
You can CT any emotional attachment to approval. You can also or alternatively go the belief route.
PSTEC is a treasure trove, offering so many ways to take out these patterns and revise self-concepts.
Your contributions here are always appreciated.
All the best,
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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