Dealing with Oppositions

[TrumanPSTEC User]

after reading Brian's wonderful post on what you are vs what you should be: http://pstecforum.com/pf/belief-blasters/more-freedom-what-you-believe-you-are-vs-what-you-believe-you-'should'-be/

i've realized that after doing some BBs on that topic i noticed that most of my beliefs worked on opposition to one another.

and i think this is a great way to deal with beliefs you want to erase.

for example, if you have the belief “I should be funny” you probably also have “I should not be boring”.

so, the right sequence would be something like:

“i should have been less boring”

“i should have been more funny”

“i should have been less insecure”

“i should have been more confident”

this seems to erase both oppositions created naturally by the same belief.

if you are trying to get somewhere you are also trying to run away from somewhere else.

[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

You can also get down to the beliefs such as…

I'm not funny
I'm not a funny person
I'm boring
I'm a boring person
I'm not exciting
I'm unexciting
I'm not an exciting person
I'm not fun
I'm no fun
I'm not a fun person

etc.

Another example of this is the belief that you must “do” or “be” something (good, nice, generous etc.) to get what you want – approval, acceptance, needs met etc. So of course people subconsciously attempt to behave in such a way to get their needs met. This is of course completely a false mask or a false sense of self.

We are good nice, etc just as we are but we don't believe we are good, nice etc just as we are. One could clicktrack this behavior and/or belief blast corresponding beliefs.

A wonderful suggestion for PQT is “I'm now just as I am now 

[Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Truman,

Thanks for your post.

You have taken an interesting approach there, and I am glad that is working for you.

The “should” and “had to be…” frames seem to produce interesting shifts. They tend to be an offshoot of the type of beliefs Brian referenced. In other words, you perhaps believe you “should” because you are not, or because people would not accept you if you were not “on”, funny, confident, dazzling etc.

You also have to give meaning to the particular trait you believe you lack.

For instance, if you believe “I'm not funny” and feel a negative charge around that, then you value “being funny.” These sort of concepts can come from the culture, literature, family or the media.

It is possibly also linked to a broader pattern of needing to get the approval of others, or just a general perfectionism and needing to be “all things to all people.”

What would happen if you thought people found you boring, unconfident, unfunny etc.? You can really tap into this.

You can CT any emotional attachment to approval. You can also or alternatively go the belief route.

PSTEC is a treasure trove, offering so many ways to take out these patterns and revise self-concepts.

Your contributions here are always appreciated.

All the best,

Paul 

---

Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

[TrumanPSTEC User]

first of all thank you for your replies brian and paul.

paul, i just thought what you wrote and realized that is easy to me to spot shallow beliefs such as “i had to be funny” but it is a challenge to find a deep belief related to the search of approval without being descriptive about it.

i would like to find my words to my own search of approval but it is hard to find.

recently i discovered a deep belief about making people mad and it was a huge change for me

“i had made people mad”

“i should avoid making people feel mad”

this was surreal because after doing it i had a talk with my father and he told me that he used to beat me and my brother when we were young and i didn't know about that. it was repressed in my unconscious.

Hi Truman,

Thanks for your post.

You have taken an interesting approach there, and I am glad that is working for you.

The “should” and “had to be…” frames seem to produce interesting shifts. They tend to be an offshoot of the type of beliefs Brian referenced. In other words, you perhaps believe you “should” because you are not, or because people would not accept you if you were not “on”, funny, confident, dazzling etc.

You also have to give meaning to the particular trait you believe you lack.

For instance, if you believe “I'm not funny” and feel a negative charge around that, then you value “being funny.” These sort of concepts can come from the culture, literature, family or the media.

It is possibly also linked to a broader pattern of needing to get the approval of others, or just a general perfectionism and needing to be “all things to all people.”

What would happen if you thought people found you boring, unconfident, unfunny etc.? You can really tap into this.

You can CT any emotional attachment to approval. You can also or alternatively go the belief route.

PSTEC is a treasure trove, offering so many ways to take out these patterns and revise self-concepts.

Your contributions here are always appreciated.

All the best,

Paul 

[Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Truman,

Thanks for your update and apologies for the late reply.

Your father has definitely given you aome additional material you could address. You could work with what you have now been told, or run an Accelerator tapping track to see if you could evoke any more memories of your early interactions with your father.

I have found that a very effective way is to try to look at this through the eyes of a child. If you were beaten back then, what conclusions would you have been making about yourself, your father and the world?

When physical punishment is meted out to children, various beliefs around safety can be formed and these will vary (depending on the context):

“I'm not safe in this world”
“It's not OK to disagree with those in authority”
“I'm a bad person”
“What makes me safe is doing what others want”
“I'm powerless”
“I'm a nuisance”
“I'm annoying”
“The world is a dangerous place”
“I'm not OK”
“Dad doesn't approve of me”

Those are some possible beliefs you may wish to test out, and you may find others.

All the best,

Paul 

---

Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

Please contact me anytime if you want any assistance in utilising PSTEC to help you live a life of tremendous freedom & possibility.

Recreate yourself with PSTEC.

Skype, Zoom, in-person & phone sessions available…

[Author]

Posts