Reply To: Clearing feeling that are bad but you don’t want to go away

Forums General Discussions and Specific Issues Tell us About your PSTEC Story Clearing feeling that are bad but you don’t want to go away Reply To: Clearing feeling that are bad but you don’t want to go away

#26248
Paul McCabePaul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

Hi Obstruktion,

Thanks for your insight.

You have a good methodology here.

I watched a documentary the other night called “One Killer Punch.” Its subject matter was broadly male violence, but specifically a pivotal moment where anger/fear takes over and results in someone striking out…and with fatal consequences.

Every one of these men felt the punch was justified, but soon came to regret this decision. Equally, I suspect, that without the benefit of hindsight they would have regretted walking away. They probably would have viewed this as a weakness.

Sometimes it can be a case of choosing “what will I regret less?” As you mentioned, people will only want to resolve a problem if they identify it as a problem.

The reality is that so much of what we regret depends on the meaning we attribute to events. In the moment, something might feel perfectly justified, but that seems to be based on meanings like “I'm being attacked”, “it is bad to back down”, “if I'm too calm, they'll exploit me.”

Lots of feelings are justified, but it does not mean they could not have very bad consequences. That is the distinction, I feel.

This decision to strike out tends to be based on an interpretation that someone's identity or survival is being threatened. This does not have to be a punch, but a sarcastic retort, an angry reply to an email, road rage or “fighting fire with fire.”

With PSTEC, if you clear all “anger-causing” events from your reality, you will tend to react differently anyway. When you make decisions from a position of calmness, a lot of the triggers will just disappear. All of them can disappear, if that is a desire.

Thanks again, Obstruktion.

Paul  :)


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