Reply To: Sex
Thanks for your question and also for sharing your progress.
I'm not a huge fan of attributing labels but, being human, I'll be a bit inconsistent here
It sounds like this is what might be labelled a perfectionism pattern and also some need to be well-thought of by women.
You may wish to hit the insecure feelings directly with the CTs and keep going until you get to a 0 or 1. That tends to be a great starting-point.
Some aspects you may wish to address:
– women being disappointed with you in general
– the idea that women will speak disparagingly about you to other people
– the idea you didn't do things as well as you wanted
– the idea that you failed in some way
This may bring up other memories. Keep clearing as you go.
Also see if the following beliefs feel true and, if so, blast them:
“I was a letdown”
“I always got it wrong”
“It was bad to disappoint a woman”
“What made me good enough was pleasing women”
“I was a disappointment sexually”
“I always had to be the best”
Then you can layer in:
“If I don't do things perfectly, I can still relax”
“It's not just my job to make everything amazing”
“It takes two, and I'm absolutely comfortable with women now”
“I'm absolutely at ease talking dirty to women now”
You may find some more. You can also “spice” some of these suggestions up, if you catch my meaning. Make the wording specific to the language that most resonates with you.
All the best,
Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner
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