Reply To: Parent’s burden

#26512
Paul McCabePaul McCabe
PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

Hi Truman,

Thanks for posting.

Maybe Freud was onto something there, but it is difficult for a great number of people to deal with and overcome how they were treated or mistreated by their parents – of course, he didn't have Click Tracks back then  ;)

Freud was dealing with the conscious mind, so I don't agree that everyone could just consciously decide to not be affected by the behaviours of the very people upon whom your survival once depended. Parents have a unique insight into their children and can have an incredibly powerful impact on them.

I have known and worked with people from a variety of age ranges and what their parents said, say, did or do to them can have profound and lasting consequences. It can really devastate them. And these are just the people who have that awareness. Other people blame themselves for everything.

If “blame” and “responsibility” are different ends of the spectrum, I personally think it is important not to venture too far into either over-blame or over-responsibility. I mean that in a general way.

With parents who had narcissistic characteristics, it is entirely possible you felt judged, second-best and not a priority. You would not be alone there, so well done on all the work you are doing on yourself and for the wisdom you have shared on the forum.

In this case, you could possibly just keep it very simple.

Simply imagine their behaviours, words and historical criticisms, try hard feel what you felt and CT it.

So, for example, you could try hard to feel like the 10-year old version of you whilst imagining your father's passive-aggressive behaviour…and then run the CT on it until it is completely neutral.

You could then do the same, running a separate CT whilst thinking your mother's behaviour.

I hope that helps, Truman.

All the best,

Paul  :)


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