Approach Anxiety

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  • #21415
    AvatarRussell Cronberg
    PSTEC User

    Hi Jeff, as always thanks so much for all of your help and wisdom on this forum!  Now, for my latest discovery/question regarding PSTEC:  Lately I've been using both the free and enhanced click tracks for approach anxiety in meeting women (I'm recently divorced).  What I had been doing up until recently is imagining myself approaching a woman I'm attracted to at the coffee shop, super market, etc., feeling the anxiety and running the click track on that visual and feeling.  While that approach has helped me quite a bit, there still seems to be some residual resistance, or a “flash” of anxiety when I think about making that approach.  Of course I know this is tied to my fear of rejection and ridicule from this person.  However a thought just came to me that maybe I should be adjusting my PSTEC sessions so that I'm imagining the “worst case scenario.”  In other words picture her rejecting me, looking at me with disapproval, laughing at me etc. and click tracking on THAT.  My thought is that if I can become “okay” with the worst possible thing that can happen in my mind I'll be able to get over this once and for all.  Am I on the right track here or would a different approach be more appropriate?  I'm tired of being held hostage by my anxieties want to get to that point where I'm approaching any woman I'm attracting to and not caring about the outcome.  Sorry for the long-winded post, Happy Holidays!

    Russ

    #22639
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hey Russ,

    You're always welcome… my pleasure.

    Mahalo for writing in the forum to not only find your personal healing, but also it helps others here as well because, hey, we're in this together, yeah?  :)

    Right on, Russ.

    I will let you in on a secret…

    Quite often I use this technique when I work with individuals to help expose aversions or even attachments that get in the way.

    If someone desires something, I ask, “Imagine NEVER achieving that and all you have is the opposite… how does that imagination look to you and how do you feel?”

    Now, this will not be popular with the “positive thinking” perspective because someone might want to avoid thinking that way.  But, we do not go down this path to focus on what we do not want, we go down this path to expose what's in the way of our freedom.

    So, yes, take that imagined event of someone rejecting you along with the feeling it invokes and run the CT.

    Here's the important part…

    Other memories may come up … this is the communication from the sub, “Thank you for helping” … take those memories with the feelings they also invoke and run the CT on those as well.  Get to the source or cause and BE DONE WITH IT!!!  ;D

    Those that are successful in ANY endeavor do not fear or at least fear very little.  They also, when encountered with an outcome that is not desired, do not dwell on that “failure”… in fact, many do not even see those rejections (in your example) as failures.  They are just results and they do one of two things…

    • Continue unwavered… the rejection is an opportunity to continue the search, in fact, “Thank you for saying “no” so that time is not wasted for you or me!”  Wouldn't you rather have a “no” than someone “being nice” and spending time with you when they don't want to?  Or, how about the dreaded “Maybe.”
    • See an opportunity to shift, improve, etc. and then continue on a more empowering path or in a more effective manner.
    • [/list]So, carry on, my good man!!

      Let go of your expectations and you will exceed them!

      A Hui Hou!
      Jeff

    #22640
    AvatarRussell Cronberg
    PSTEC User

    Thanks Jeff!  Your reply confirms that I'm on the right track to beating this thing once and for all!  Happy Holidays to you and everyone in the PSTEC community.  :D

    #22641
    AvatarPSTEC Mike
    PSTEC User

    Hello,
    Excellent advice from Jeff. I've spoken to Tim about something similar and this is the same advice he gave…focus on the worst case scenario. If you can become “immune” to the worst possible outcome, anything less will be a piece of cake.

    I don't know if it's set in stone, but look forward to an “in the moment” tool from PSTEC (I hope!). You'll listen to a hypnotic track that will basically install a cleaning program for your sub mind with a cue word. Then in the moment when you want to ask an attractive woman out, you would say or think your cue word over and over and your approach anxiety will be erased.This technique is the basis of “Be Set Free Fast” and “Z Point”. However, with Tim and PSTEC, it will of course be better.

    I'm really looking forward to this if Tim does indeed decide to do it. I don't think anything will be better than click tracks to erase negative emotions, but a cue word tool would be icing on the cake.

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