Belief confusion

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  • #21691
    AvatarTroy Thomason
    PSTEC User

    When it comes to meeting new people, the reason I'm uncomfortable or anxious is because I want them to like me.

    Is that a good belief to get rid of? “It's my belief that I want people to like me.”
    Plz share your thoughts.

    #23857
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    I'd say the core belief there is “I am not good enough” or “I am bad”.

    Both pretty much head down the route of shame and guilt.

    If you want people to like you sounds like to me you have low self esteem and think you aren't good enough for yourself so you need to feel good for others. I'm ultimately in the same boat as you but getting a lot of success.

    Before using the eraser I highly suggest you go back to times of humiliation or not feeling adequate, generally any time you compared yourself to others or felt less than or unworthy of. CT all that junk.

    It's a massive core belief that takes time and you need to be willing to work at it patiently.

    If you remember times of being bullied as a kid even if you think it dosnt bother you today, CT it. I had some rough times in high school with a couple guys and it didn't affect me o a conscious level (as an adult). But burried within , it does. When I CTd and tried hard to feel anger sadness humiliation shame etc no word of a lie I felt lighter happier and more confident.

    Just my 2 cents lol

    Good luck and enjoy. PSTEC is a godsend

    #23858
    AvatarTroy Thomason
    PSTEC User

    Thanks for your input. I did PN on the belief, “I need people to like me” and it made a major difference.

    I definitely was bullied and the suds rating for those memories is like a .0001/10.

    I might try to feel the feeling and see what happens.

    #23859
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Glad it worked

    Once you hit the core it's nothing but peace.

    I'm stuck right now trying to undo a ridiculous belief I held for so long.

    It's ridiculous but the belief is “I need to last long in bed or I'm a failure”.

    If I can find a way to get rid of this belief I will be unstoppable

    Going to try and PN tonight

    Keep me updated on how things are going for you and what you find is working

    #23860
    AvatarTroy Thomason
    PSTEC User

    What would happen if you're with the girl of your dreams and you only last 30 seconds?
    I would look at the answers to that question.

    Maybe it's:

    “I need women to validate me”

    #23861
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Yeah

    I noticed I had a lot of anxiety and pain constantly weeks after CTing

    I've been clearing a lot but would go through a random mood swing and wonder what was happening and almost felt as if I was going crazy. Until on my way home today it hit me. I always CTd scenarios where other people affected me or feeling fear humiliation etc.

    But not once, not even once did I CT how my biggest and worst enemy in life was myself. Not once was i dumped by a girl. Not once did they tell me I was ugly, unworthy, shameful etc..

    I was the one who put me down my whole life telling me I need to last long or I'm a failure. I'm a piece of trash. I don't deserve this girl. I'm ugly I'm this I'm that etc

    Not once did I CT hate anger sadness toward myself. I always let myself down. Told myself I was no good. Sure I had problems In high school I didn't deserve. But the rest besides one comment my ex made was my doing. And I never took responsibility. I kept CTing myself in situations being humiliated and feeling shame at the time , but never any feelings toward myself

    I don't know the best way in which I'm going to approach this because all these bad times were just a constant steady focus on hate and put downs on my self, never from anyone else which is truly sad. It became a constant way of life for me.
    D

    The only way I can see me doing this is creating a scenario in my head where the old me is a scared/angry etc child telling himself he is this and he is that and me trying to feel those feelings toward myself.

    I can't recall how I reacted toward myself at certain times because it was just a constant overall thing and I'm reality I thought it was normal.

    What do you think about that approach? I want to make sure I don't repeating the thought and emotions I had at the time toward myself so that I deviate from Tim's instructions but I want to make it clear in my head that I am CTing what I felt toward myself at the time in those particular moments. Not the feelings of the event that happend, just the emotions toward myself. You follow? What do you think?

    #23862
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    Oh one more thing

    I have a belief I don't deserve pleasure from women. ( dont ask)

    This is what causes most anxiety. I see its ridiculous now so I'm trying to go the opposite way on this one and want the pleasure and not have to worry about anything else but every time I do I get sever anxiety. I literally get physical pains when I try to view the situation in the way I want but my mind views it in the opposite. Every time I tell myself I want to go and see this girl and get pleasure I literally get physical pains all in my torso and stomach.

    I understand its because beliefs are in conflict and I don't see the negative undoing this just yet. And I believe it's because I emotionally sabotaged myself all these years to do the opposite and avoid pleasure and sex for feeling unworthy so my sub said ok fine. Now it won't budge and I'm in physical pain.

    I only pray that releasing the negative emotions toward myself about this belief will clear the pain so I can get cracking on PN. I just don't even know how to CT emotions toward self about not deserving pleasure. I CTd an event of my being shameful or afraid of being intimate or refusing pleasure from a woman but never the emotions toward self.

    Ah my head hurts lol

    #23863
    AvatarTroy Thomason
    PSTEC User

    “It's my belief that I don't deserve pleasure from women”

    Luckily for me, I don't really feel the feelings so PN works fantastically for me. I would just do PN and if there's still emotions, go back. Also, accelerators.

    #23864
    AvatarSeratoBeats
    PSTEC User

    I have so many women interested in me and I always get this anxiety when it comes to sex. I truly believe its a fear of being judged because there opinions of me matter.  I'm going to try the negative tonight on that belief and see how it goes il keep you posted.

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