Booze makes me into someone I’d like to be without it

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  • #21796
    Avatarsb_in_ca
    PSTEC User

    At 49, I seem to have this lifelong issue of not being able to just banter without self-consciousness and with total abandon.

    And I'd like to be specific to new romantic relationships in this quesiton.

    I started dating someone I'm absolutely wild out, and she seems to feel the same.

    We went out for a drink Fri night, and then some food.. just walking around a tourist area. When I first arrived,  sitting on the stool next to her, I could only feel the anxiety ( and thinking that if I don't start joining the conversation, feeling she'd dump me ), the inhibition, etc.. of just not knowing what to say.

    Once the 2.5 vodkas settled in, it was like a construction crew lifting this large concrete barrier in my mind, letting in these “lit up permission-to-say-anything orbs”  to fly into my mental mindscape, saying: “dude, come on, literally, who cares.. just say sh*t”.. and I did.
    I bantered about every little thing.. I start joking about the most mundane things that were happening around us, and teased her about things she was saying/doing, and I just become a different person with alcohol, causing a lot of laughter.

    I have clicktracks 2015, negative and the positive ( via getting the level 1 ).. should I just clicktrack on the anxiety and the 'stuckness' I felt, and then ponder over what beliefs I might have
      ( and if you can guess what beliefs those might be, be my guest ).

    and then run negative, and then positive ?

    It's like, I can't figure out what beliefs, the booze seems to cause me to bypass, to make me someone that's funny and uninhibited.

    #24397
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi sb_in_ca

    First you have to work on the fears and things that stop you doing what you want and being who you want to be.

    So Click Tracks. Imagine how it would feel if the next date she did dump you, you were too boring, too quiet, what ever it is. Imagine that girl you are wild about, doing a spectacular put down, in public where everyone can see and hear. Ask yourself on a scale of 1-10 how bad this would feel. Now run the 30 minute 2015 track and keep trying to imagine this disaster happening and how bad this would make you feel. When you do the 1-10 count afterwards you need it down to really low numbers, if not repeat the process.

    When you have the count to a low number construct a Positive statement along the lines of “The next time I see her I could be relaxed and fun to be with”.Run this a few times. Ask yourself how much do I believe this statement on a scale of 1-10 (1=absolutely 10=no way) repeat until you get a low number. Create another statement “The next time I see her I will be relaxed and fun to be with” and run this one.

    If you can hear yourself repeating a self limiting belief over and over example “I'm going to blow this and loose her” then use this as a Negative statement and run in between the Click Tracks and Positive.

    Booze inhibits your conscious thoughts allowing your subconscious more obvious control. This might be useful on occasion but not good if it becomes a necessary prop.

    So Click Track any fears or negative feelings, you can use them to create a future disaster scenario and Click Track that as above. Any fixed negative or self limiting beliefs can be removed with Negative and new beliefs installed with Positive.

    Please ask again if I have not answered your question or you have more.
    Please let us know how you get on.
    Peter

    #24398
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    sb in ca

    Nearly forgot! When running the Positive imagine being that charming, fun, confident and witty person you know you can be. You know because the booze does not make you into anyone else. You are that same person a little more relaxed maybe.
    Peter

    #24399
    Avatarsb_in_ca
    PSTEC User

    Wow, Peter, that is excellent advice. Appreciate this.

    Especially the core message that I need to take the worst scenario, of what I'm afraid of .. getting dumped for being boring ( that's a running thing in my head for all of my dating life..she'll think i'm boring ).. and click tracking that.

    I'm going to do that. 

    Also, I would not have came up with the practice of gradually upping the positiveness of the positive affirmation. I would have shot directly for a level of positivity that could be too much for the first go-through of pstec positive.

    Thank you!

    #24400
    Avatarsb_in_ca
    PSTEC User

    I followed your advice, and it worked pretty amazingly. I did use the 30-min track, because of how much progress you can make by staying focused for that long a period. Thanks again

    #24401
    AvatarPeter Bunyan
    PSTEC User

    Hi sb_in_ca

    Keep on Clicking!  :)

    Peter

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