can’t move on !!!

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  • #21582
    AvatarEndy
    PSTEC User

    hello !
    I've a problem and I really hope you'll help me
    so,my problem is that I can never move on and cope with things that happens in life ! so many things happened for the last couple of years that has affected me but I've tried to cope with them and I did cope with some of them but almost 2 years ago , we discovered that my grandpa (he was so close to me ) has cancer and couple of months later we lost him and this broke me and affected me really badly that I got depressed ever since and I started literally seeing that everything in life is just dark and scary , I'm always afraid of what's gonna happen tomorrow and I'm just living in the past and I can't get over it ! I've tried almost every possible way but failed terribly , everyone around me think that I'm just overreacting and they always say that I'm “too young” for depression and stuff like that (I'm 16 btw) and I don't know what to do , it's getting worse and worse ! I can't sleep at night and I can't concentrate in things that I'm doing such as school and classes , I'm getting antisocial as people are saying and I just don't know what to do to move on with my life because I've never been like this before ! I have always been ambitious but now I'm just scared of literally everything in life and people around me just never seem to understand and also apparently everyone from the family even the ones who were closer to him than I was has moved on even for a bit but I'm just stuck !!
    please help me because I can't take it anymore … sorry if this was so long

    #23375
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Endy!

    Let's start here … start from scratch and keep it simple and then, ultimately, if you get “stuck” working on your own, find a way to get some help from a practitioner to help guide you through the rough spots, ok?

    1. Begin with the emotional upsets using the free Click Tracks.

    From your forum post, there is limited info, but here are some clues from there:

    * so many things happened for the last couple of years
    * 2 years ago , we discovered that my grandpa (he was so close to me ) has cancer and couple of months later we lost him and this broke me and affected me really badly that I got depressed ever since

    Jot down a short list of the things that you consider upsetting in the past, not just from 2 years ago, but from earlier as well.

    Take that list along with your experience when your grandpa passed and Click Track (CT) each memory until it's down to 0-1.

    Keep in mind, this does not erase the memory, but it neutralizes the feelings/emotions around them.  So, what happens is that when the emotions are neutralized, your perception can shift.  After you CT a memory, sit with the new perception and observe what that might be.

    For example, instead of your grandpa's passing being a “depressing” event; it can be a means to celebrate because you were able to experience love from and with him; you were able to have a close relationship with him and enjoy some years with him and you have a mentor in him, even though he is now passed, that you can draw on for strength and wisdom.  Yes, it's true, years from now you will remember something he said and the meaning to you will hit you and can help guide your Life in joy and peace!  :)

    So, expect and look for the changes in your perception.

    2. Change beliefs and behaviors… we accelerate this with PSTEC Positive and change beliefs.

    Sometimes when you neutralize emotions, the beliefs shift as well… just like I described in #1 above.

    But, sometimes we must shift the beliefs more intentionally and you can do that with PP.

    Here are some beliefs from your post that are limiting and causing you pain…

    * I can never move on and cope with things that happens in life
    * everything in life is just dark and scary
    * I'm always afraid of what's gonna happen tomorrow
    * I'm just living in the past and I can't get over it
    * I've tried almost every possible way but failed terribly
    * everyone around me think that I'm just overreacting
    * they always say that I'm “too young” for depression and stuff like that (I'm 16 btw) and I don't know what to do , it's getting worse and worse
    * I can't sleep at night
    * I can't concentrate in things that I'm doing such as school and classes
    * I'm getting antisocial as people are saying
    * I'm just scared of literally everything in life
    * people around me just never seem to understand

    We can neutralize the emotions, but sometimes the beliefs are strong and then the emotion gets “recreated” so to speak and it seems like the cycle beings all over again.

    So, you can address this with PP, for example, with:
    I can never move on and cope with things that happens in life

    You can use PP with a statement something like this:
    When tragic events occur I become stronger as I move on in life

    You see?

    Imagine having that belief before all this happened?
    Would you have acted differently than you are now?
    Do you see the power in that?

    Guess what?

    It's never too late to shift those beliefs so that not only can you begin to move on now but you can also have a new skill in life where, when other events occur, you become more and more imperturbable!

    Cool, yah?

    If you need help, let us know!

    Malama Pono!
    Jeff

    #23376
    AvatarEndy
    PSTEC User

    hey Jeff !
    thank you soooo much for your help :-) , really appreciate it !

    I just have another question it's not about the same topic tho but ..
    is it safe to use hypnosis ? I was advised to use some applications to grow more confidence but then I saw that they use hypnosis and I'm not sure is it good or bad so I didn't try it but I hope you'll help me …

    #23377
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Aloha Endy!
    You're always welcome!

    Hypnosis can be very effective and safe, yes, but much of what is offered on the market is not effective.

    Is it safe or could it be harmful?  I imagine if something is done incorrectly it is possible to have a harmful effect, but most hypnotic recordings will merely be ineffective rather than causing any unsafe results.

    What shifts in your mind model are you looking to effectuate?
    What are your objectives?

    Jeff

    #23378
    AvatarEndy
    PSTEC User

    thank you so much Jeff for your help and all your advice !

    my objective is that I really need to be more confident because I NEVER feel confident and this made me lose many chances and sometimes it really affects me badly and prevents me from doing many things just because im not confident enough and feel like i'll fail terribly no matter what !
    also I have one year till I go to college and everyone told me that if i stay like this i won't be able to achieve anything in my life and that it'll be harder to change myself and be more confident later so I have to change that now

    …..
    sorry my English isn't so good so I don't know if I explained that well

    #23379
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Endy… we are going to jump right in with some practical aspects and actions to take immediately…

    Keep in mind that self confidence is a general perspective or a “result” of your emotions, beliefs and behaviors so you will have to drill down a bit to address those emotions, beliefs and behaviors and then you can shift that confidence from low to high.

    Let's start with what you shared in terms of beliefs you hold and beliefs you have accepted from others:

    • I NEVER feel confident
    • I'm not confident enough
    • I'll fail terribly no matter what
    • if i stay like this i won't be able to achieve anything in my life
    • it'll be harder to change myself and be more confident later so I have to change that now
    • [/list]Not very helpful in being self confident when you hold those beliefs as true, are they?

      Some Assessment
      Let's take one of those and drill down a bit… “I NEVER feel confident” … you will have to do this by sitting quietly, no distractions, with a note pad and ask questions like this of your mind and wait for answers:

    • Why do I never feel confident?
    • What makes me feel as if I have no confidence?
    • Why do I not have any confidence?
    • [/list]What may come to your conscious mind:

    • Emotions – Memories of feeling low confidence and self esteem… when these memories arise, jot them down and note what emotions come with them and rate the intensity on a scale of 0-10 … consider and be aware of memories concerning being bullied, criticized, abused, embarrassed, past failures, being teased, making mistakes.  If you have a long list, notice the ones that you feel are most impactful and begin there.  If you're using the CT's for the first time, you might choose some “easier” or less intense ones to 'get your feet wet.'
    • Beliefs and Behaviors – Thoughts, statements for example, you may “hear in your mind”; 'I can't be confident because I am purple.'  As these thoughts comes up, jot them down.  Most of these will probably come up as beliefs or behaviors.
    • [/list]Toolbox
      Now, once you have some notes from your assessment above, you can begin to get to “work” on them… er… play! ;D  So, you will pull out your PSTEC Toolbox and apply the appropriate tool to the issue you wish to shift or release.

      Emotions
      When you have memories with emotions, follow the CT instructions and CT them until they are down to 0-1.  You can also use the EEF's that are a part of the Level 1 Package or, also, the Accelerator Tapping Tracks (ATT).

      Beliefs and Behaviors
      When you have these thoughts that are limiting, craft a new PSTEC Positive Statement according to Tim's instructions with PP and then use either PP tracks, PP Extra Power or, again, the ATT (yes, you can use the ATT's for either emotions or beliefs and behaviors… they go both ways.).

      You can also take those beliefs I listed above from your post and craft PP Statements in the opposite direction of those and use PP on those new statements.
      But, keep in mind, in addition to those more general statements, you want to address your more specific beliefs with specific PP Statements.

      As you go through this, be extra aware and sensitive to noticing even the subtle changes in your self confidence and then look to see what you can do with confidence that you previously found difficult and, when you do, don't start out with stellar changes; just go with something simple to “practice” on, so to speak.

      So, again…

      1.Assess
      2.CT the emotional memories
      3.Use PP on shifting the beliefs

      Simple, yah?

      If you are stuck and have difficulty, you may find a practitioner to guide you along and get you going an excellent idea.

      Aloha nui!
      Jeff

    #23380
    AvatarEndy
    PSTEC User

    hi Jeff !
    I honestly can't thank you enough ! thank you soooo much for your help :-)

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