Control freak

[TrumanPSTEC User]

I've noticed that most of my problems and compulsions (eating, sex, fetishes and defecation) are related to control issues.

When I was a kid i had a very anxious mother who was very controlling over me, to the point i felt emasculated all my adolescense.

So, I have lots of beliefs related to being controlled and not being able to control myself and other people.

Which would be a good way to get rid of all these beliefs related to wanting to control and not being able to control.

Also some PQT would be great too.

Thanks.

[Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Truman,

Thanks for posting.

The usual “no one size fits all” caveat applies here, but I will offer some general suggestions that hopefully steer you in the desired direction.

I would recommend trying hard to evoke the feeling of not being in control and run this through the CT. Go back to when you were young and felt you were being controlled and see if any feelings of fear and vulnerability accompany this.

Imagine being controlled and/or punished.

You might intensify this by considering how you (as an adult) feel about and have interacted with your mother.

Try hard to make that as intense as possible, and keep CTing until you get the emotion/feeling to a 0 or 1.

I would recommend running this through the long CT2015 track.

From the belief point of view, please check whether the following beliefs resonate with you and blast those that do:

– “People took advantage of me”
– “What made me OK was being in control”
– “I'd have been hurt, if I'd lost control”
– “People were out to hurt me”
– “Being in control kept me safe”
– “The real me had to be hidden”
– “I was weak”
– “I was too sensitive”
– “I was not manly enough”
– “It was dangerous to be vulnerable”

And then PQT the following (re-word as appropriate):

– “I'm safe to trust people even more now”
– “When I think I have to control everything, I relax and let life unfold”
– “I now feel absolutely safe and relax my need to control others”
– “Mum just felt out of control, and her grip on me has gone now”
– “From this point on, I'm in absolute control of deciding how I react”
– “I'm already enough and good things come my way when I trust in myself”
– “No matter how out of control someone seems, I remain composed”

Please let us know how that goes, Truman.

Best Regards,

Paul 

---

Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

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[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

Adding to Paul's comments. It will be beneficial to CT all the experiences of your mother being controlling to you. Also her punishing you for not complying and finally CT all feelings of her extreme domination and also her demandingness. Get these to a 0.

Also you will want to CT the feelings and also Belief Blast I am out of control, I have no control.

Good PQT statements can be

I'm absolutely in complete control from now on I'm totally safe now
Everything is completely under control now I'm absolutely ok now
I'm completely in control of my life from now on

A similar belief to CT and Belief Blast would be “I'm not safe” because it also ties to the need to control to feel safe. Might also do the same with “control kept me safe” if that resonates with you.

Similar PQT suggestions can be used afterwards.

I'm completely in control now that everything is absolutely safe
No matter what happens from now on I'm absolutely safe now
I thought control kept me safe but I was absolutely wrong now

etc

[TrumanPSTEC User]

Awesome. Thank you Paul and Brian. I will update in the future when I finish with all of your recomendations.

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