I’m so weak …

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  • #21585
    AvatarEndy
    PSTEC User

    Hi ! I've a problem and I really hope you'll help me ,
    So, my problem is that I'm so weak ! I can never argue with someone over something even if I know I'm right . I just can't stand against people ! like if someone is bullying me or keeps criticizing everything about me , I can't respond ! I can't stand for myself and tell them anything ! like I literally get paralyzed and find nothing to say in my head ! And then when I'm alone after any of those situations I start thinking about it and just be like why didn't I say this or that or like why didn't I respond ! And I end up feeling  miserable about myself and have like a mix of many emotions including anger , frustration and also guilt
    This has been a problem for me for so long , it was one of the reasons why I got bullied a lot , because I could never stand for myself and actually stand against whoever bullied me. It has also affected me So badly in many different situations , I breakdown easily whenever it gets tough and that has showed many people that I'm really weak and I don't want that ! I obviously don't want someone to see me as a weak person and also I don't want to stay like that because I know things will get harder at some point and I want to be able to handle them and get through tough situations and I will never be able to do that if I'm weak .
    I don't know if this is something that could be worked on using the CT or PP or how do I deal with it , I also don't really know if this is something that can be changed or if it's just a part of my personality and that I'll always stay like that but I hope there's something I can do to change that …

    #23385
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hi Endy!

    You can always change your mind model… your perceptions.  That is precisely why PSTEC was developed and why we continue to provide services here; why Tim continues developing new tools and tutorials and why you ought to maintain the belief that you can shift that perception… shift that mind model … and that's where it starts; with your keeping the possibilities open which will allow your mind to accept, at some point, the solutions to the issues you face now.

    Begin with your belief…

    “I don't know if this is something that could be worked on using the CT or PP…”

    I am sure you have heard of many, many people making shifts using PSTEC… quite a large variety at that … so, keep in mind that you too can realize the results you desire by doing two things:

    • Follow directions as Tim lays them out… no variances.
    • When you are not seeing results, persist in discovering why and usually it's because you aren't following #1 above.  So, what it takes, most times, is tweaking how you see the tools and methods.
    • [/list]The Practical Part…

      Keep in mind that you have a mind model that manifests “weakness” only because that is how you perceive yourself.  So, this is merely about shifting your mind model… shifting how you see yourself … and the world for that matter.

      The Mind Model has three components to consider:

    • emotions
    • beliefs
    • habits or behaviors
    • [/list]Those are the 3 you will apply your PSTEC Tools toward.

      Prior to applying the tools, assess where you are by asking yourself some pointed questions… being honest with yourself … and jotting what you discover in your subconscious mind… what “bubbles” up.

      Try some of these:

    • Why do I feel I am weak?
    • Why did I get bullied?
    • Why do I get paralyzed with nothing to say?
    • Why have I not stood up for myself?
    • [/list]Begin by drilling down a bit and seeing what feelings arise along with the beliefs and behaviors.

      You mentioned some emotions; use the CT's on those emotions but be sure you attached the feelings to either memories or imagined events… much more effective that way.  You may find memories of being bullied, being talked down to, being criticized, etc.  Jot those down… no need to fear them… you are just identifying them and then neutralizing them to allow yourself to be free.

      Be sure to consider (and you can CT this) the emotions about yourself; such as:

      “I end up feeling  miserable about myself and have like a mix of many emotions including anger , frustration and also guilt …”

      Beliefs may come up as well and there are a few in your post…

      I'm so weak
      I can never argue with someone over something even if I know I'm right
      I can't respond
      I breakdown easily whenever it gets tough

      These are best addressed using PP to shift beliefs by crafting belief that “move” you in the opposite direction of each belief or perception.

      Remember that it's best to do PP when your emotions are at zero or very low.

      So, you are observing how your mind operates at the subconscious level and you can do that by observing your emotions, beliefs and behaviors.
      Then, once you see some it, you begin to apply the proper tool to the appropriate component of the mind model.

      Be deliberate, be willing and be methodical and it will be easier.

      If you are stuck, consider consulting with a PSTEC Practitioner by visiting the Registry.

      Also, if you have some specifics, you can always return here!

      Aloha!
      Jeff

    #23386
    AvatarEndy
    PSTEC User

    thank you so much :-) I'll surely follow everything you said !

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