"it" vs. "i"

[Sindee Lee GillespiePSTEC User]

Hello –

I've read through a ton of questions and as I'm exploring my beliefs to blast I find that some of them are framed (as in, how I say them to myself) as “It hasn't been easy to _____”.

Most of the beliefs are stated as “i” statements such as: I haven't been etc.

Do the BB statements need to be in “i” tense or can we also apply “it”?

Thank you!

With appreciation,

SLG

[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

Try both and see what happens.

[TomPSTEC User]

Do the BB statements need to be in “i” tense or can we also apply “it”?

I personally prefer to use “I” as it frames me as creator of my reality and fully responsible for it..

Don't know if it makes a difference in BB, but in general for sure is the most empowering attitude to adopt.. Hope it helps

[shabier hassanPSTEC User]

In my opinion and experience, it depends on the particular belief.You cannot have a fixed rule.For example, if I believe “Women cannot be trusted” I may be tempted to reframe it as “I cannot trust women” which again is different.I do not/can not trust women because I might have some history and pass the blame onto the women for my mistrust.It might seem politically correct to be a “man” and shoulder the responsibility and state that I can't trust women.But the problem is that deep down I justify my mistrust and therefore I would want to go with”Women cannot be trusted.”
      Tim has given us a remarkable tool called “The Belief Blasters”.Getting to the beliefs is more of an art than an exact science.There cannot be a fixed rule.We can only have guidelines but nothing set in stone apart from the two rules that Tim clearly mentions in the instructions.

[Shailen PatelPSTEC User]

But even if you justify the belief I suspect we extrapolate to self-centric beliefs (or have distanced ourselves developing these 'general' beliefs)

Such that 'women cannot be trusted' is interpreted as 'I cannot trust women'

It seems incompatible to believe the former without holding the latter to be true

I understand your point about ownership but I suspect the discomfort of the latter may potentially be more effective when clearing

I've experienced similar conflicts where I avoided using 'I' in favour of general statements. Once I resolved ownership or involvement in these beliefs no matter how uncomfortable the clearing was more effective and enlightening

I'd be interested which was more effective for you

Bw,

Naruto

[shabier hassanPSTEC User]

But even if you justify the belief I suspect we extrapolate to self-centric beliefs (or have distanced ourselves developing these 'general' beliefs)

Such that 'women cannot be trusted' is interpreted as 'I cannot trust women'

It seems incompatible to believe the former without holding the latter to be true

I understand your point about ownership but I suspect the discomfort of the latter may potentially be more effective when clearing

I've experienced similar conflicts where I avoided using 'I' in favour of general statements. Once I resolved ownership or involvement in these beliefs no matter how uncomfortable the clearing was more effective and enlightening

I'd be interested which was more effective for you

Bw,

Naruto

  I completely agree that both beliefs are related and dependent and by the word “justify” I meant “I cannot trust women” because “Women cannot be trusted”.I was working with a friend on his issues around women and I suggested that he make a list of all the incidents where he felt betrayed by a female, irrespective of the nature of their relationship.Then a wrapper followed by CT 2015 28 minutes and a Belief Blaster.
      Naruto, actually this was just an example and what I meant to convey was that there cannot be fixed rules apart from the two that Tim clearly mentions.

[Paul McCabePSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi Naruto and Shabier,

Excellent discussion.

I agree that identifying  beliefs is more of an art form than an exact science, but it can be helpful to think of beliefs as a a broad generalisation about self, people and/or life. This takes some of the guesswork out if it. Certain principles can make identifying beliefs more easily.

Asking “how has this belief affected my experience of life?” can be useful to see whether it is worth eliminating from your mind model. You can also use your own words to get more resonance.

“Women cannot be trusted” is a belief/abstraction; “I cannot trust women” is a consequence of having beliefs about women and experiencing certain emotions around them.  I appreciate the belief you mentioned was just an example, so I am using that for illustrative purposes.

I find that asking “what would I have to believe about myself/that situation to … (insert pattern of behaviour, thought etc.)?” can help people discover some beliefs.

There can be an experimental element to personal change, but I would “hypothesise” that getting rid of the broader beliefs would have the most profound impact. Then you could move to the more specific and personalised beliefs (e.g. “THAT woman cannot be trusted”). In other words, once a belief like “Women cannot be trusted” is eliminated, I would expect the pattern of “not trusting women” would start to disappear.

Paul

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Paul McCabe – PSTEC Master Practitioner

http://www.lifestyleforchange.com

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[Brian TuckerPSTEC User]

For what it's worth…

I have processed nearly 200 beliefs thus far using Belief Blasters on myself. I can say with certainty that they are very forgiving in how you word your beliefs. I have also experimented with phrases as simple as “I was going to be punished” and “I was going to get in trouble” and several belief phrases that may or may have not been exact (probably not hehe) and using the 18 minute track they have been completely resolved.

Many of my phrases have come simply from trying to describe the feeling and getting a phrase that came off the top of my head. I questioned whether it was perfect or not but figured hey may as well give it a go. Many times I have done this and it went right to the feelings that were associated with it every time. Often times I have been doing a belief and a similar one pops in my head while I am doing it.

Bottom line – You don't have to be absolutely perfect especially when you run the 18 minute track. Just get as close as your gut tells you that you can. if that doesn't work then wait a day or two but at least that one will be removed and you will as a result get a little more clear on what the root might be.

That is the beauty of these tracks. Tim has done a fantastic job with them and they are so efficient why not give a variation or two of a phrase a go and it will collapse the whole thing.

[Sindee Lee GillespiePSTEC User]

Thanks for the input from all – I live in Houston and it has been a bear of a week so have been distracted from this.

With appreciation,

SLG

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