Loneliness/Sadness

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  • #21436
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Hi there,

            Recently my significant other has left me, and caused me a whole lot of sadness.  During our time together, I lost most of my friends, by choosing to be with her more often and kind of moving in a different direction.  But now that she's gone, I realized how alone I am and its very painful.  I make attempts to hang with my friends again but its been years since those days and we're not really that close anymore.
            Any advice on how to fix my situation?  I would love for this loneliness/sadness to go away and be happy, and of coarse have my friends again.

    Thanks for the support,
    BJdutch

    #22718
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    Hey BJdutch,

    I received an email today from someone that is dealing with relationship issues, so I will share some thoughts from my email to that person…

    There is something that causes us to be bothered by events that “seem” to be outside of us… that keeps us in those situations … that also keeps bringing into our lives what bothers us most despite our best efforts to run from them, change them, control them and ignore them.

    It's our Mind Model.

    We have a MM that is bothered when our value system is attacked… when our memories seem to be relived and when our behaviors don't seem to make a difference (in Truth because we don't change them).

    This work (eventually “play) is all about shifting your perceptions… shifting that MM.

    So, while your question is quite wide and far reaching, here are some practical actions…

    • Observe the emotions and let them lead you back to the earliest memories and those in between and use thePSTEC Click Tracks and just keep clearing and cleaning them.

      Begin with the Free Basic PSTEC Audio Package with the free Click Tracks… these tools are ALL about clearing up the emotional attachments and aversion that keep us stuck.

      Consider also getting and becoming familiar with Level 1 and the Accelerators.  These tools also help with emotions, but then give advice and tools for beliefs and behaviors.

      Let me emphasize this again… clear the emotions that are non-JEEP… always!  If you are not feeling J.E.E.P. (joy, enthusiasm, excitement, joy), then you are not in harmony with your mind as a whole… make sense?  So, do not be discerning… if it’s non-JEEP, clear it… all memories and imagined events.

      You must be extra diligent because you are in the midst of an environment that you are not happy with, so be the observer for the non-JEEP as best you can and keep clearing.

    • Immerse yourself in the PSTEC Tools… they are wonderful for shifting all aspects of the MM… emotions, beliefs and behaviors.

      Look, all that is important at this point is shifting your experience, right?  Immersion will not only help to shift that MM, but also choosing that type of focus will also help to deconstruct what currently keeps you stuck.

    • If you need help, be sure to search and ask for it. Sometimes we need help… someone to “hold our hand” and point out the obvious and keep us on track because as you shift, there is resistance to change, but persistence helps you along the way and there is help to keep you on a path of change.

      Be sure to check the PSTEC Registry for someone you can do some work with.

    • [/list]Most importantly…

      Before you enter into another relationship, be sure that you are more clear than ever.  Find your peace in the silence by yourself before you venture out to share your experience with another.

      When I found my peace and joy on my own after several relationships that were, well, less than JEEP… then, suddenly this angel appeared and turned out to not only be everything I could ever wish for in a partner, but she goes far beyond my huge imagination as well.

      Prior to being led to her, I was peaceful at either discovering a partner one day or not… no difference because I finally found peace in being alone and being able to listen to my inspirations from within that guided me more and more.

      Ah, but prior to that peacefulness, I cleared and cleared and cleared… and when I thought I was done, I cleared some more.  Take the time to do wholesale clearing so that you can see more of your Truth rather than more of the same old junk and results.

      Does that make sense?

      I hope that helps!

      Aloha!

      Jeff

    #22719
    AvatarLeslie Onyesoh
    PSTEC User

    Hi Jeff,

    Thanks for the above post. I was looking for something like this to point me in the right direction. As you say there is residual resistance. I have cleared several issues but low and behold they come back again…behaviours remain unchanged and I find myself right back where I started, if a little less emotional.

    I like you reference to wholesale clearing….habit formning chipping away at the negative chains until one is free.

    Thx very much appreciated

    #22720
    AvatarJeff Harding
    PSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator

    You're always welcome, Ony.

    Remember, the reason there is any difficulty in clearing, cleaning, shifting, etc. is about the level of our resistance to letting go.

    The more resistance, the slower it seems to move because you are keeping one foot in the past with the junk and one trying to move forward… don't work well, yeah?

    If you let go of ALL your values, beliefs, emotional attachments and aversion, your ideas, your definitions; well, then the speed of your shifts and transcendence will skyrocket not only in velocity, but in magnitude!!

    Ah, but we hang onto certain aspects for various reasons… too many to mention… aspects from our own conclusions as well as contributions from culture, religion, media, family, friends.

    Keep reminding yourself to “Let go to experience freedom.”

    Remember your version or reality is not Truth.  Let go of perceptions and realities and you let in Truth and THAT experience is YOURS!!

    Be patient and kind as you do this because not only are you worthy of kindness, but you are also deserving of the realization of your Divinity… not deserving as in your worked hard, but deserving as in your birthright… claim it by letting go of ALL attachments and aversions to the past as well as the future.

    Aloha ia O'Koa Pa'ulo
    (When we meet in Love…We Shall Be Whole!)

    Jeff

    #22721
    AvatarJules
    PSTEC User

    To BJdutch or anyone else with similar experience,

    Im in the same situation right now. I'm curious of what helped you to work through it? Right now the thought of being all alone again is saddening and scary. I've had to start over several times in life and always found happiness again,but it has been difficult for me. any help is greatly appreciated!
    Thank you,
    Jules

    #22722
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Hi Jules,

    What helped me is just focusing on not being with my significant other while clicking, the thought of her moving on with her life, never seeing her again, and the fear/sadness of me being alone forever.  I'd click for a few rounds feeling better but the fear/sadness came back after maybe a day or two.  So I'd go back to pstec when the negative feelings resurfaced, then after a few sessions, I noticed the feelings took longer to resurface.  Eventually the negative feelings never came back, my perceptions of her and my life have changed.  I'd say this back and forth of clearing negative feelings and them resurfacing and clearing again went on for a span of about a month. 
    I feel this process could have been shortened if I knew how to get to the core issue better and understand how to use pstec positive properly.  Just keep clicking and you'll get there.  I'm pleased to report that as devastating the breakup was for me, I'm completely fine now.  My ex and I are still friends and we both feel that's its better like this. I'm totally at peace NOT being in a relationship! Talk about a 180 haha!

    Good luck,
    Bronson

    #22723
    AvatarJules
    PSTEC User

    Hi Bronson,

    Thank you for your reply! I'm glad you're doing so wel! It also gives me hope. I think I was getting discouraged that the negative feelings would go away immediately after clicking,but then come back. It hopeful to hear that the results are permanent with persistence. You used pstec positive too? Thats the one younhave to buy,right? Do you think it was helpful or could I achieve results using just the free download?

    Thank you!
    Jules

    #22724
    Avatarbjdutch
    PSTEC User

    Hi Jules,

    I used Pstec Postive a couple of times, and yes that is the one you have to purchase.  I didn't really get much out of it mainly because after reading Secrets of Pstec Positive, I wasn't using PP correctly.  If you don't have that package I highly recommend you buy it.  Secrets of Pstec Positive wasn't around when I was dealing with my breakup, but if it were, I'm certain the healing process could've been much quicker.  So in my case, PP wasn't required.  The free click tracks did the job eventually, though following Jeff's advice in the first reply on shifting the Mind Model and correctly using PP would result in quicker permanent changes instead of the back-and-forth that I experienced.

    Good luck and keep clicking!

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