Maladaptive Daydreaming – Shame/Guilt??

[DavidUKPSTEC User]

Hello I am unsure where to proceed with this one, could you offer me some advice? It's pretty deep I reckon but I've done my own research on the origins.

Basically:

Uninvolved parenting style leading to not feeling emotionally validated/recognized as a child. Response: would wander the playground day-dreaming in a world where I was appreciated emotionally and people understood me.

When I was about 17, twelve years ago, I had an incident where I was embarrassing when drunk. Since then I have had intrusive day-dreams wherein my mind will constantly replay old and recent bad events.

I do not understand why my mind wants to constantly visualize bad events but it is doing so sometimes every minute. I want a clearer head.

I'm not sure what to click as it isn't just the initial shameful event that is recurring in my mind's eye.

Thank you very much.

[Jeff HardingPSTEC Pro and Forum Moderator]

Hi David… So, as you CT the event when you were 17, TRY HARD to feel embarrassed and run them until it's 0-1.

Now, look for other emotions that come up… sometimes people feel another emotion and assume it's the same one, but it's not.  So, look to your body and see where you feel the emotion and that can tell you, sometimes, that it's different.  So, sometimes we have to CT each emotion separately.

“my mind wants to constantly visualize bad events” … CT those memories or imagined events that come up.  You can also CT a dream or daydream.  Quite often, when someone calls me about a bad dream, we treat it like a memory and just CT that while TRYING HARD (remember, it's not important that you feel the emotion but that you TRY HARD to feel it).

Also, be aware of other memories that come up and if they do, CT those.

If not, ask this: “That embarrassed feeling… when was a time you felt that before you were 17 … before that… before that … when was the first time you felt that embarrassment?”  Look what that reveals not in analyzing, but in what comes up from the subconscious.

Then, also ask: “At 17, why was I embarrassed?”  Let your mind delve a bit deeper and it will answer with emotions, memories, feelings, images and also thoughts and beliefs.

If they are beliefs, look to use PP to suggest the “opposite” of what you hold as true today.

Here are some other beliefs from your post:

• I was not emotionally validated/recognized as a child
• my mind wants to constantly visualize bad events

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Aloha nui!
Jeff

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